When we see anyone we care about struggling (and we ALL are struggling with SOMETHING), our overriding impulse is to jump in and “fix it” somehow. This is neither our responsibility nor our right. And it very rarely works, anyhow.
We are meant to heal our OWN struggles and to give others the support and the acceptance to feel safe to heal theirs. This is the internal contradiction of freedom that so many people miss; confinement feels like the secure choice. But in fact, it is the open-hearted acceptance of each other AS IS that is our safest stance.
No longer are we looking to the people we love to make us happy with the behaviors we deem acceptable. Now we are taking responsibility for ourselves and luxuriating in the freedom to be who we are. Mandated actions are given up in favor of organic choices, mutually agreed upon and respectfully made.
Are you struggling to let go of something that you should? Read 6 Buddhist Practices For Letting Go Of A Relationship
Letting go IS NOT giving up! It is a release of expectations, an understanding that the more open we are, the greater the number of possibilities for contentment will be.
In our goal-oriented, driven society, we are taught to “keep our eye on the prize”. I’m not going to comment on whether or not this is the “best” way to achieve success, but I am going to say that being goal-oriented in a relationship is a really inorganic way to approach it.
Think about the evolution of your greatest friendships; the natural growth and deepening of bonds over time, the absolute certainty that even when you are not in constant contact the relationship remains whole, intact and available when needed. We are able to maintain these joyful connections because we were never out to “get” something from each other; the sharing of the journey was the entire premise.
Now, what if we could experience romantic love in the same way? Trusting the bond enough to allow the other to be whole without us? Choosing each other over and over again not out of need, never out of obligation but instead because we don’t want to miss witnessing the evolution of a beloved.
Do you want a partner or a prisoner? A lover or a lackey?
If you love somebody set them free. If you are afraid to do this because you are afraid you will then be alone? Then you are the one who is living in a prison.
You are the person you must love enough to emancipate; release yourself from the idea that any relationship defines you and be open to the endless possibilities for your happiness.
Letting go is not always a bad thing as it is made out to be. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for the person you love is to let them go. It takes a lot of courage to do this, never for once think that you are weak because you chose to do it.
If you want to know more about letting go, then check out this video below: