An Open Letter to the Guy I’m Letting Go

To the guy, I’m letting go,

Hey there, my love! Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for being my lamp in my darkest days. Thank you for the “good morning texts”, “the goodnight texts”, the “how are you’s?” and thank you for pushing me all the time to be a better person.

You are an amazing person.

Thank you for making me happy even in a short period of time. The feels with those beautiful butterflies in my tummy. The promises. The future we once planned together. Those were the things I will forever treasure love. Indeed, you made my life happier.

But I think I can’t be with you any longer. Sorry if I have to let you go now. Sorry if I can’t fulfill my promise anymore. To stay no matter what. I have been trying really hard to make this work. But I think I have lost hope now. I don’t wanna leave you but I just can’t do this anymore. You were the one who turned your back first. I can’t stay knowing that you’re slowly leaving me. I’m done fighting for your love, for your attention, for us. You have shown enough. I can’t fight anymore. I’ve already fought hard enough for you to stay. I was busy saving you not knowing that I’m losing myself in the process. Enough is enough. I need to save myself.

I realized that I can’t continue fighting for a person who doesn’t want to be fought for. Maybe it’s time to let you go. Maybe it’s time for me to accept the fact that we are walking now on different paths.

I’m letting go of every butterfly that I felt every time your name pop up on my phone. I’m letting go of every sensation that I felt every time I hear your voice. I’m letting go of this overwhelming feeling every time I see your deep and captivating eyes.

I’m letting go of the sweet good mornings and goodnights. I’m letting go of the shy moments. I’m letting go of these never-ending thoughts at 2 AM.

I’m letting go of the idea of us. Every daydream.

I’m letting go of the future that I envisioned with you. I’m letting go of every song that reminds me of you. I’m letting go of every composed letters I’ve spent hours or even days to write. Just to translate my feelings into words. I’m letting go of the sleepless nights. I’m letting go of every hope in my soul.

I’m letting go of everything. Every. Single. Thing. I’m letting go of you.

Because I realized I’m the only one who remained holding and gripping to that something that never really mattered.

Don’t worry about me. Yes, it’s going to be very hard. You see, letting you go is no joke. It’s not as easy as 1,2,3. It will surely break my heart even more. Life would be very difficult without you. As you’ve become such an important part of it. And will probably require me enough time to put back all the pieces, to be okay, to move forward and to be in love again. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But rest assured, I will.

But it doesn’t mean I’ll forget about you. I’ll always hold space in my heart for you. I’ll always remember things we shared that were deeper. I’ll remember it all with some sadness and also some joy, but always with gratitude. I’ve let you all go with love.

You are now free

Wishing you happiness,

The girl who’s done fighting.

-By Annabella

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