An Open Letter To All The Female Narcissists And Manipulators

Letter To All The Female Narcissists

Chances are you are an excellent actress. You can easily switch between demon and angel, good cop and bad cop, Jekyll, and Hyde. Your masks are interchangeable and so quick to fool others, your ex included. This confuses your ex-partner, and you capitalize on that. Making empty promises to “work together for the kids” or claiming you will change for the better (with your fingers crossed behind your back) reminding him of the woman he fell in love with. All that does is make him vulnerable for feeding into your unrelenting cycle of destruction.

Want to know more about female narcissists and manipulators? Check this video out below!

You don’t love him; you love the joy that comes from his pain and how you benefit from it. But, unfortunately, you probably have everyone else fooled, too. People probably believe that he was the one cheating, he was the one screaming at you, he was the one making your life a living hell. Crocodile tears are beneficial when creating a narrative of the wronged, long-suffering wife; who would believe you were the one doling out the insults and projecting your self-hatred onto him?

I am the woman who is everything you cannot be, and so I know you will try and break me, too. So please, save us all some time and find a new supplier who will fill all those needy spots your ex once did.

Cash in your chips. Call it a loss. Walk away from the table when your hand comes up as losing. Then, go ahead and weave a sad story that makes you the damsel in distress and not the bitter queen; you will find someone else to believe you and fall under your spell.

Related: Divorcing The Female Narcissist, Borderline, or other Abuser

I am the woman who will come after you. I am the woman that will cause the man you broke to forget you. I am the woman who will enjoy the man when he wakes up as the person he was always meant to be, and you attempted to ruin. One day, you will fade from his memory. I might not stay with him forever, or I may be his great love; either way, I was the one who ripped off your mask.


The Woman After You

Kristy Lee Hochenberger can be contacted for life coaching at and

Written By Kristy Lee Hochenberger
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
Letter To All  Female Narcissists pin
An Open Letter To All The Female Narcissists And Manipulators
Letter To All The Female Narcissists pin
An Open Letter To All The Female Narcissists And Manipulators
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Kristy Lee Hochenberger

Kristy Lee Hochenberger is a doctoral student of psychology at Capella University and a member of Psi Chi, the international honor society in psychology. A graduate of prestigious Wells College, Kristy Lee is also a licensed funeral director and co-founder of Salt City Legacy Scholars, Inc, a 501c3 nonprofit organization that awards scholarships and financial assistance to young women across New York State. In addition to her Bachelor's degree, Kristy Lee has an Associate's Degree in Occupational Services as well as a Master of Business Administration. A native of Queens, NY, she currently resides in upstate New York where she is an adjunct faculty member at Syracuse University School of Information Studies (iSchool) and University of the People.View Author posts