Dealing with this is a little difficult and takes a lot of time.
But you can start off by writing. Not on a daily basis. Just whenever you’re angry or want to cry, grab any piece of paper and scribble down how you feel. And don’t worry about not being able to describe how you feel. Just scatter some words that may relate to how you feel. Then, go into a bathroom or a secluded place where no one can hear you. Take that piece of paper, read it out aloud to yourself and then tear it into bits and pieces and throw it into the bin.
You see, feelings are scary, no doubt. They are elating but they can be degrading as well. But you also need to know that the best person to help you deal with this is you; because no one else knows what dilemma you’re in and what kind of tight shoes are you trying to fit in. They just don’t know. They may offer ways to help or emotional support but they can’t get into your mind and tune it for you, that is something you have to build up the guts for and go it alone.
It is tough. It is hard. You may want to give up. But you should know that life is a rocky boat and you’re only getting started, there’s much more to life that you could’ve ever thought. Life is very long and we are always young, the day you realise this, you won’t be needing anything or anyone other than you and then negative feelings will stop to matter. You will numb yourself to negativity just as you did earlier with positivity.
I won’t use the word happier because I feel it’s overrated, but I can assure you that you will feel at home, again, with yourself…in your skin, perfectly holding up to challenges and sailing through the storm like you do through a smooth sea.