There are no hard and fast rules about what intimacy should look like so figure out the road map that makes the most sense to the two of you.
Make an effort to become experts in loving each other in the way that each of you needs.
3. Let Them Love You When You Need It The Most
There will be times when your fear/insecurity/thing will come up and you will want to push your partner away. This is your shame speaking and it is up to you and your partner to help you navigate these sometimes scary moments.
Let your partner help you when you feel at your weakest… they want to help you through your old pain.
Shame whispers in your ear “If I let them see me at my weakest, then they’ll find out how unworthy of love I am and they will leave me.”
Love says “I can tell that my partner wants to help me right now, and I also want them to help me. So I will let them.”
Your partner isn’t turned off by your moment of “weakness”. In fact, being able to let your partner see you in this state actually makes them feel more trusted and close with you.
So let them in. You, your partner, and your relationship will benefit.
Why Is Intimacy So Scary?
What we desire the most, we often fear.
You want to be loved so deeply and seen so completely by someone that you feel like they can read your thoughts just by looking into your eyes… but you also fear that when they find out all of the things you’ve kept hidden from people all of these years that they won’t like what they find and they will abandon you.
But just like courage is about acting in spite of your fear (as opposed to not feeling any fear), true intimacy comes from letting someone see you despite your reservations (as opposed to not having any reservations in the first place).
Nobody is immune to the fear of letting someone in. And those that deny it’s existence are generally the most firmly entrenched in their denial.
Love will always be a risk. But you can either risk letting someone see you for who you are, or you can risk not having ever experienced true intimacy.
If you don’t put yourself out there and make mistakes in life, you will eternally ask yourself “What if I had tried? Who could I have loved? Who could I have been if only I pushed myself that extra step?”
So take a deep breath… tell your trusted lover what you need… and then have the courage to receive it from them.
Dedicated to your success,
You may also like:
- 3 Subconscious Reasons Why We Fear Intimacy In Relationships
- 6 Sad Ways You End Up Ruining The Intimacy In Your Relationship
- A Truth about Intimacy Love and Romance
- Intimacy With Others Starts From Within
- The Subconscious Tendency That Erodes Intimacy In Every Relationship
- 6 Ways To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Your Significant Relationships.