7. Talk to someone
“Loving someone is setting them free, letting them go.” – Kate Winslet
Going through heartbreak can leave you with a lot of unresolved emotions. And this can be a terrible time to stay alone and go through all the pain by yourself. This is why it is highly recommended that you speak with someone you trust and get things off your chest.
Express your thoughts and emotions, both good and bad, positive and negative, and just get it out of your system. Trusted family members and friends can often lend you a much-needed ear and give you helpful advice. But it can also help to seek professional help and talk to a therapist to get the help you need right now.
8. Stop the blame game
“Keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” – Dinah McCraik
Enough with the finger-pointing and blaming. If you want to let a toxic relationship go, then you need to start by not being toxic anymore. Blaming your ex or yourself will not solve anything. It doesn’t matter whose fault it was anymore. What matters is what you do right now and where you go from here. And the fact is, both of you were at fault equally.
That’s exactly what I realized when I broke up with my long-term partner. I was able to let her go only when I stopped blaming her and myself. Both of you have suffered enough. Rise above all the negativity and focus on healing yourself.
9. Look at your partner objectively
“Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re angry because of something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past, we make room for miracles to replace our grievances.” – Marianne Williamson
When in love, we often proudly sport our love goggles and see the entire world with our rose-tinted glasses. And it’s these love goggles that make our partner appear perfect to us. But now it’s time to take off those cursed glasses and take a look at the real world.
See your partner for who they are. They are not angels sent by God. Neither are they the Devil reincarnate. They are flawed human beings just like the rest of us. Remember all the bad memories and experiences with your ex just as much as you remember the good ones. This will help you see them as they really are…human!
10. Empower yourself
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra
It’s time to shift your focus on yourself and away from your relationship. Focus on your personal development and find out what you can do to be a better version of yourself.
Start going to the gym, learn a new skill, pursue a passion, start doing something you always wanted to but never could somehow. Take time out for yourself and reflect on what didn’t work in your relationship. Tell yourself what you want from your next relationship and make sure you follow it through.
“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli
Forgive yourself for all the things you regret doing in the relationship. Forgive yourself for anything that you’re ashamed of. You cannot change the past. The only thing you can do is learn from it and move on. Forgive your ex-partner as well for anything that might have hurt you. Let go of any negative feelings you might have for your former lover and the relationship.
Forgiveness will liberate and empower you to move past the toxic relationship. Show empathy and compassion to yourself and your partner. Realize they never intended to hurt you deliberately. They simply did what they thought was best for them. So did you. That’s how it is. Forgiveness is not about them. It’s about you.