2. Accept the truth
“You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice that you are holding it. Admit your ‘weaknesses’ and watch them morph into your greatest strengths.” – Neale Donald Walsch
Let the reality of the situation set in. it’s not easy to accept that your relationship is over. It can be overwhelming and a horrible thing to realize the truth. You may feel lost and confused and that’s okay. Focus on the point of life you are at right now and look at what’s right in front of you. Figure out where you wish to go from here and prepare a plan that will take you to your intended destination.
3. Don’t force yourself to move on
“You can meet someone who’s just right, but he might not be meant for you. You break up, you lose things, you never feel the same again. But maybe you should stop questioning why. Maybe you should just accept it and move on.” – Winna Efendi
I know you are hurt right now and you want this pain to end ASAP. But rushing yourself through the process will not help you heal. Don’t pressure yourself to move on and get over your ex.
Letting go takes time and trying to speed your way through the process will only make it harder and more painful. Instead of thinking about how long you need to grieve and when you will get over your partner, focus on what you have right now and the positive things you have in front of you.
4. Stay away from them
“Some relationships are like glass. It’s better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself more by picking it up and trying to put it back together.” – Herman Hesse
Go no contact. Even if for a little while…go no contact. I simply cannot stress how important it is. In case, you and your partner have a child together or have decided to stay friends, then keep minimal contact. It is crucial that you distance yourself from your ex and give yourself some space. Of course, it will be painful, but your relationship is already over. The time you spend apart will help you heal and make the letting go process easier.
Even if things have ended on good terms, you will still feel the pinch every time you see them or contact them. So it’s better to take yourself out of the equation completely. Block them on social media, Whatsapp, Snapchat, and whatever app you use. This will help you get your head back in the game and focus on your own life.
5. Acknowledge your feelings
“To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” – Jack Kornfield
You will probably go through a rush of mixed emotions and it can be very confusing to understand what exactly you are feeling. You may feel relieved, depressed, angry, grief, disappointed, happy, traumatized, or all of that at once.
Honor your feelings. You just lost someone you loved. Give yourself permission to feel all these feelings and allow them to pass naturally without trying to suppress them. Accepting your emotions is the first step to healing yourself.
6. Understand the lesson
“Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.” – Sonia Ricotti
Do you resent the relationship? Do you think it was a waste of time? Understand that we meet people and connect with them for a reason. The universe always has bigger plans and we are unable to see the whole picture right now. Instead of feeling ashamed or guilty about being in a relationship with them, figure out what you have learned from them. The good. The bad. And the ugly.
There’s always a lesson to learn. You are not the same person you were when you met them. You have grown and matured with them. So what are you taking away from your ex and the relationship? What will you do differently in your next relationship? Find the lessons from your relationship, and let go.