Studies have found that common biological factors can be the reason for it. Research shows that being in love is as addictive as hard drugs like cocaine. Love activates the same areas in our brain as cocaine does. Medical studies have revealed that brain scans of people with cocaine addiction and people in love have displayed similar increased activity in the dopamine centers of the brain, which are the pleasure centers.
Moreover, both types of people have experienced decreased activity in the brain’s frontal lobe, the area accountable for cognition. This clearly shows that being in love can not only make us feel better, but it can also deeply affect our cognitive and decision-making skills.
Love, like any other addiction, can be hard to kick even when there are negative side effects like gaslighting and abuse. Despite all the negative effects of love, we still find it hard to let go of the love addiction and choose to suffer in our toxic relationships.
From heartbreak to happiness
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
For me, breaking up with the woman I loved was crushing. We had been together for so long, we forget how to be without each other. And that was where the problem lied. I can’t tell you honestly who the toxic partner was in our relationship. It could have been her. It very well could have been me. All I can tell you is that I ignored the signs for far too long than I should have.
I looked the other way and pretended everything was as great as it was before. But the cracks soon caught up and everything came crashing down. Things got really really ugly and we broke up. I tried so hard to make things work. But it didn’t.
We went on and off for the next 6 months until one fine day I realized how unhappy she was with me. How unhappy I was with her. I honestly don’t know why we were even together anymore. Did I love her? Of course, I did. But a relationship needs a lot more than love to thrive on. And that’s when I decided to let her go. It was not an easy decision. It broke something inside me. But now I can see it was for the best. For her. And for me.
Letting go of someone you love so dearly can be easier said than done. It will break you before it makes you stronger. But heartbreak is often the road to happiness. That‘s what I learned. That’s how life works.
How To Let Go Of Someone You Love Who’s Not Good For You
If you feel imprisoned in an unhealthy relationship and don’t know how to let go, and move on from it, then here are a few helpful tips to let go of a relationship for good.
1. Identify the problem
“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is by letting go of the things that make you sad.” – Tinku Razoria
Inner peace and happiness begin with awareness. Try to figure out why your relationship has become toxic. Without judging anyone, take an objective yet hard look at your relationship and identify the underlying reasons.
Be honest with yourself. Most probably, you will realize your partner is not the only one at fault. Usually, it has to do with our unmet unrealistic expectations, neediness, codependency, insecurities, fear of being alone, and other negative emotions. Once you see things for what they really are, you will be able to let go.