3. Ask yourself why?
For many of us, we don’t know why we made the choices that we did.
Did we do it because we were scared or because we were depressed or because others made the choice for us?
I know that for me, many of my regrets have to do with lack of self-esteem born from depression.
I didn’t choose running because, in spite of being told I was excellent by the PE teacher, I didn’t believe that I could do it. I chose culinary school instead of hotel management because my then-boyfriend thought that is what I wanted to do. I didn’t take a look at the emotional struggle I had dealt with my whole life because it just felt like too much effort.
The key part of understanding why you made the choices you did is so that, going forward, you don’t make those mistakes again. You don’t make choices that you regret making.
Because a key part of letting go of regrets is looking to the future and the potential that is there for you and reaching out and taking it.
I know that, since I have dealt with my depression, I make my own decisions and I stick to them. As a result, I very much have the life that I always wanted to have. That life started at 50 years old but I have a lot of years left so it’s ok.
4. Where are you in your life?
Speaking of where I am in my life, I know that now my regrets are fewer than they were in the past. I believe that it’s because I am happy.
Back in the days when I wasn’t living the life I wanted, when I was a stay at home mom with no identity of my own, in an unhappy marriage, struggling with depression and lack of follow-through, I spent a lot more time focused on my regrets.
If only I had made a different choice, my life would have been so much better.
Now, because I am happy, I can look at those regrets and recognize that the choices I made got me to where I am today. Yes, I might have wished I had a degree in hotel management but I also know that being a life coach and growing my own business has been incredibly satisfying.
Take a look at your life. Are you where you want to be? Do you think that you focus on regrets because of how unhappy you are in your life? Do you constantly say ‘If I had just made that choice instead of this one my life would be better?’
I get it. I do. But what I can tell you is that, while you can’t change the past, you can change the future. Try not to think of yourself as who you could have been by focusing on the past but instead think of who you can be by seeing the potential for yourself for the future.
Because it never is too late to live the life you want. Again, I didn’t find true happiness until I turned 50 when I made the decision to move to NYC and never look back. I built a life for myself full of love and success and if I had stayed in the past, mired in my regrets, I never would have gotten there.
Want to know more about how you can let go of regrets in the New Year? Check this video out below!
5. The Many Worlds Theory.
Ok, this one is kind of strange and feel free to skip past it if it’s too much for you but I just learned about something that I never knew before.
Some scientists who study quantum mechanics believe in the concept of the multiverse, specifically the Many Worlds theory, which posits that there isn’t only this life that exists but that there are a number of other universes, in each of which we are living a different life, different lives based on choices we made.
If you follow that idea, then it is possible that there is another you, or many other yous, living the life that you might have lived had you made a different choice. That somewhere out there, I had a hotel management degree or I was an Olympic runner, or that I had faced my depression early on.
Somewhere out there, I am living many different lives, lives based on the choices I made.