People grow when they are inspired and when a desire to change comes from within them. Being pressured to make changes can work in the short term but it will create resentment and bitterness in the long run.
If you want someone’s behavior to change, you can start by changing how you respond to them.
For example, if your partner is in an angry mood and you too get angry, you would just escalate the situation. Instead, you can respond in a calm manner. When you shift your energy, the other person also catches it and responds in a similar manner.
You can change some nuances by someone’s behavior by leading with example, not by arguments or force.
But if you have a huge list of things that you find wrong with your partner, then you should check with yourself why are you with someone who requires so much fixing.
Your partner is not a project to be fixed.
You should be with someone whom you love as they are and not someone whom you hope to convert into an image you like.
5) Lust doesn’t stay forever
When we initially get attracted towards someone we feel a certain rush of chemicals in our brains. This is why we feel butterflies in the stomach and we want to spend every waking minute talking to or texting that person. But this phase of lust doesn’t last for long.
It is when lust fades away, we can truly know if we have any love for the person.
If we still care for their wellbeing and want to see them happy even when the initial attraction has faded away, then we are really in love.
Love is when you can be completely yourself with the other person without any fear or being judged and you also accept all of them: the good, the bad and the ugly.
6) Some relationships are just lessons and not meant to last forever
Some relationships are meant to come into our lives to teach us forgiveness and letting go gracefully. They are meant to help us evolve and grow into better versions of ourselves. When we are able to learn the lesson and let go graciously, we prepare ourselves emotionally and spiritually for better relationships in future.
7) Relationships we enter into are a direct reflection of our self-worth
The relationships we enter into are a direct reflection of where we are in life.
If we find ourselves being very reactive in relationships, it means that we have wounds we have not yet healed completely.
The triggers that we face in relationships are meant to direct our attention to where we need to work on. Sometimes people come into our lives to make us evolve into a better version of ourselves and leave when their role in our life is over.
The more we work on healing our wounded self and the more aligned we become with our higher self, the more loving relationship we will attract.
8) Relationships are only a part of a beautiful life
Relationships are just a part of life. There is so much more to a beautiful and fulfilling life: friendships, passion, work, fun, service to the world.
You do not have to wait to be in a relationship to live your best, happy and fulfilling life.
9) Your capacity to be alone determines your capacity to love
Self-love is the most important type of love. You cannot give to others, what you don’t have yourself.
Show yourself unconditional love and compassion. Take out time for self-care and prioritize activities that make you feel alive and fulfilled.
“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho
10) Have a partner that is also your best friend
“The problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough. This is not to say that we invariably cease loving the person with whom we fell in love. But it is to say that the feeling of ecstatic lovingness that characterizes the experience of falling in love always passes. The honeymoon always ends. The bloom of romance always fades.”- M. Scott Peck