12. Dealing with Loss
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is probably one of the most difficult things in life. It is traumatic, and the grieving process usually takes a long time to run its course. Sometimes, we never fully heal from losing someone dear to us.
We all grieve differently. It all depends on our spiritual and emotional state when our loved one dies. It also depends on our relationship with the person. Were we close, or highly dependent on them? These are two factors that can make grieving harder.
Many of us have a spiritual faith that can help us in the process. Though I don’t consider myself a religious person, I do respect and admire those who do depend on their faith to get them through difficult times. If you have a faith, then I suggest you turn to it when you lose a loved one.
“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.” ~ Unknown
If you don’t have a faith, then I suggest you find some support from either family, friends, or even a support group. When experiencing a loss, we certainly need some time alone to sort things out. However, if you isolate, it will take a much longer time to heal. We all need other people to help us get through difficult times. The idea is to find a balance between alone time, and time with others.
Since I’m not religious, I don’t have a belief of what happens to us after we die. I don’t know for certain, and it doesn’t bother me not knowing. However, I do see death as being one of two possible alternatives:
1) If we continue to exist after we die, we will be free of our body and mind, which are the sources of all our pain and suffering, or
2) if we don’t continue to exist, then we won’t be around to care. To me, this is a win-win situation.
One of the things that brings me comfort when losing loved ones is if they are at peace when they pass on. To me, that brings a sense of closure, and makes their passing easier to accept. Now, I certainly don’t have control over their acceptance of their death, but I can help them make sense of their transition, and bring them as much comfort and joy as possible in their remaining time.
As I wrote this article, I realized that it is not up to me to tell you exactly which lessons you should learn from the coronavirus pandemic. Surely, some of you have already learned some of the lessons discussed above.
Each of us is at a different stage in life, and in our spiritual development. So, what you learn will depend on where you are on your life journey.
What I hope to have done is given you a few things to think about, as you try to survive one of the most difficult challenges of our lifetime. If you’ve learned an interesting lesson, please share it in the comments below. I would love to hear about it.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~ Serenity Prayer
Written By Charles Francis
Originally Appeared On The Mindfulness Meditation Institute
It is highly likely that the COVID-19 pandemic can transform how we live and connect with each other beyond recognition. However, simply by bringing our attention to the present moment and being aware of our breath, we can learn to deal with stress and be more accepting of our reality.
Mindfulness practice can help us be more aware of our thoughts and emotions and help us realize the life lessons we are learning during this pandemic. So instead of allowing your mind to get hijacked, use mindfulness and meditation to live your best life even during the pandemic.