4. MAKE A DECISION.
Once you’ve stared reality in the face and recognized the things your friends and family were trying to tell you, it’s time to make a choice. It’s now or never.
Choose to stay with the person who will continue to treat themselves as a priority and you as a second-rate doormat, or decide to say enough is enough and move on. It’s up to you. What type of life do you want?
5. UNDERSTAND THAT IT WILL HURT.
You won’t leave the relationship until you’re ready and willing to do so. Maybe it’s because you get so accustomed to the toxicity that its familiarity is the only thing you crave. But this isn’t love. And some part of you knows this.
Yes, leaving the person you feel
connected chained to is going to be painful, but it is the most precious gift you can give yourself. It will come with doubt and questioning yourself into a corner. Little lies of “how good things were” pairs alongside the comfort of the chaos you once defined as “love.” The pain is part of the process, and after you brave the storm, you’ll be a better, stronger, wiser person for it.
“I’ll tell you this. Leaving that which you love breaks your heart open. But you will find a jewel inside, and this precious jewel is the opening of your heart to all that is new and all that is different, and it will be the making of you-if you allow it to be.”
― Jacqueline Winspear
6. STAND BY YOUR DECISION.
Remember that you reached this decision after an involved, thoughtful process. Stand by your decision and remind yourself that it was made for your betterment. This is how you start to live a better life, and transformations have to begin somewhere.
If you start to feel the urge to let the toxic person back in your life, reach out to your support system of family and friends or take out the list you wrote that describes why you felt hurt in the first place. Stay strong and stand by your decision.
“Do not hold your breath for anyone,
Do not wish your lungs to be still,
It may delay the cracks from spreading,
But eventually they will.
Sometimes to keep yourself together
You must allow yourself to leave,
Even if breaking your own heart
Is what it takes to let you breathe.”
― Erin Hanson
Originally appeared in I Heart Intelligence
By Raven Fon
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