We Can Recover From the Truth
The truth is, there was no relationship. We were attacked. What we need is support in understanding and healing from the trauma; specifically the sustained trauma of being hijacked by a pathological user. This is not bad break-up counseling.
Some general tips: As we can, do things that soothe us. Avoid romantic music and “our song”. Go for self-care and nurturing. Many of us gave up doing things we love doing during the con; start again as we’re able. Fall in love with ourselves.
Count on this: Narcissists and sociopaths don’t want us to go no contact. They hate it and get very mad about it. It makes us the polar opposite of what they need. We’re no longer accessible. Which means they can’t use us. By going no contact, we’ve collapsed, erased, eviscerated their world and their existence. Leaving a sociopath scares the you-know-what out of them that we’ll tell others what they’ve done or report them to authorities. Users have a constant fear of being exposed – the irony is – jail time doesn’t faze them – it gives them free range to be violent, hunt, con, lie, cheat, steal, and three meals a day.
Dating After Dating a Sociopath
5) Please, date yourself; dating other people is not a recovery method.
Allow lots of time to recover fully and completely. Dating before a complete recovery, where we can spot a pathological user where ever they stand is courting danger. Remember con artists, users, and takers sense vulnerability. Right now we’re more vulnerable than a newborn baby.
A Sociopath Tells Us How To Break Up with Them
These are the words of a self-proclaimed sociopath: a pathological predator
“You may think the sociopath respects your boundaries, but the sociopath will not be sympathetic to your needs. The sociopath does not have or respect boundaries. The sociopath has his needs and will fight to make sure they’re met.
You do not want to get into an all-out fight with a sociopath when the sociopath feels like his survival is threatened. With a sociopath, the best thing to do is to make the breakup seem like it was his or her choice; poison the well so the sociopath willingly leaves.
Become a helpless, emotionless, reactionless burden. Start being contrary, without being openly defiant. Pretend you’re tired, sick, depressed, say you forgot your keys; be incompetent, but make everything seem like an accident.
If the sociopath gets mad, say, “Sorry,” but don’t fight back. Say, “I don’t know what’s come over me.” Have long phone conversations with…people the sociopath hates. In general, let yourself go completely…be as intolerable to live with as possible without being confrontational.
After about three months (give or take), the sociopath will be out of your life. You should be in the clear after the sociopath has been gone 3 to 6 months. By that time the sociopath will not need you to satisfy any of his basic needs.” ~ Anonymous Sociopath
Use Truth To Inspire No Contact and to Walk Into a Full Recovery
Use this hideous information. If we’re still living together become absolutely emotionless towards them. Turn off the faucet of giving, shut down – in a sense go no contact while they’re still there. This is the reality of every sociopath’s mind. Believe it. They hate us.
Leverage their needs, vanity, self-obsession, and cold, emotionless heart to get them out. Remove the objects that come with us: money, cars, meal preparation, the internet, cable, errand running, credit cards.
Remember, trust is human. We are good. Know you are gorgeous. What we are is: normal. There’s nothing we could or should have done differently. – What we do now changes everything.
Let me know your experience leaving a sociopath in comments. Also feel free to share the article with your friends and help them too.
Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!
Time to Thrive!
Written By Jennifer Smith
Originally Appeared On Truelovescam
Printed With Permission