There’s a balance between walking through fire to save ourselves
and walking through fire for no greater purpose.
Find your balance.
2. Go No Contact and Non-Threat
Go no contact. Make it impossible for them to reach us. Do not reach out to them. All contact with a sociopath must stop. There’s great risk in staying connected to the sociopath behind the mask. We must block the sociopath, we must not contact them. If they do reach us, we cannot respond. There are profound reasons for this. – In divorce have our attorney handle all communications. – We do not. Doing so could hurt our divorce case. – Contact destroys our abuse claims in court.
No contact is not a casual suggestion. No contact saves our future.
Change our phone numbers. Maybe get a new phone. Block them on our phones, email, and all social media. Block everyone we know who knows them. – Use the “block” functions. Sociopaths usually try hard to stay connected. It’s so common it’s got a name: Hoovering, like the vacuum cleaner brand.
Deleting or “unfriending” does not protect us. – Don’t forget about GPS trackers, which can be installed remotely – If you think they’re tracking you – get a new phone – or find out how to stop it.
We must not respond if they get through to us.
They do try to make contact except in rare cases.
Change our Internet IP’s and Passwords
Delete all computers or devices from our internet user history. – If AT&T is our internet provider, go to our AT&T account online to see which laptops or devices used our internet service. Delete IP addresses of computers that aren’t ours – Then change our password.
If the sociopath is tech savvy change the IP address our internet is routed through. Call the internet provider and ask them to do this. – It’s all easier than it sounds.
Save every email, text, voicemail from them – they could end up as evidence in court.
3. Reconnect With People Who Love Us
Be near people who love us. Stay clear of people who say: I told you so. I never liked him. This’s no time to be judged or questioned. This’s a time to be listened to, time to cry and tell it. Talk it out. Tell it over and over. Tell our story until we’re done.
Good, genuine people who truly care will be easy to identify.
Best not to save things that remind us of him or her. Clear and cleanse. – Consider moving. Consider a new bed. Paint the walls – paint the furniture, rearrange it – anything we can refresh – do it.
4. Find People Who Know What We’re Going Through
Find support with people who know. Not everyone will understand – or be able to handle what we’re going through. Only someone who’s been conned can understand.