Leaving a Sociopath – 5 Break Up Musts

Deleting or “unfriending” does not protect us. – Don’t forget about GPS trackers, which can be installed remotely – If you think they’re tracking you – get a new phone – or find out how to stop it. 

We must not respond if they get through to us.
They do try to make contact except in rare cases. 

Change our Internet IP’s and Passwords

Delete all computers or devices from our internet user history. – If AT&T is our internet provider, go to our AT&T account online to see which laptops or devices used our internet service. Delete IP addresses of computers that aren’t ours – Then change our password.

If the sociopath is tech savvy change the IP address our internet is routed through. Call the internet provider and ask them to do this. – It’s all easier than it sounds. 

Save every email, text, voicemail from them – they could end up as evidence in court. 

Count on This: Sociopaths don’t want us to go no contact. They hate it. They get very mad about it. It makes us the polar opposite of what they look for in their prey. We’re no longer accessible. Which means they can’t use us. They’re also afraid we’ll tell others what they’ve done or report them to authorities. We’ve collapsed, erased, eviscerated their world and their existence. Sociopaths have a constant fear of being exposed – the irony is – jail time or punishment doesn’t faze them – it gives them more scamming skills.

3. Reconnect With People Who Love Us

Be near people who love us. Stay clear of people who say: I told you so. I never liked him. This’s no time to be judged or questioned. This’s a time to be listened to, time to cry and tell it. Talk it out. Tell it over and over. Tell our story until we’re done.

Good, genuine people who truly care will be easy to identify.

Best not to save things that remind us of him or her. Clear and cleanse. – Consider moving. Consider a new bed. Paint the walls – paint the furniture, rearrange it – anything we can refresh – do it.

 

4. Find People Who Know What We’re Going Through

Find support with people who know. Not everyone will understand – or be able to handle what we’re going through. Only someone who’s been conned can understand.

Find people who are optimistic and nonjudgmental.

We don’t need to be labeled with a condition. We don’t need to be told we have no boundaries, we’re in denial or we let this happen. – None of this applies and is more damaging.

We weren’t in a relationship. We were attacked. – We need support in understanding and healing from the trauma caused by a sociopath. This is not bad break-up counseling. 

 

5. Please – don’t even think about dating. 

Allow lots of time to recover. Dating now is a sure path to more of the same. Believe it.

Remember con artists, users, and takers sense vulnerability.
Right now we’re more vulnerable than a newborn baby.

As we can – do things that soothe. – Avoid romantic music and “our song”. Go for care and nurturing. We gave up things we love doing during the con. – Start again as we’re able. Fall in love with ourselves. 

 

 

A Sociopath Tells Us How To Break Up with Them

A  real-live sociopath tells us how to get them gone:

You may think the sociopath respects your boundaries, but the sociopath will not be sympathetic to your needs. The sociopath does not have or respect boundaries. The sociopath has his needs, and will fight to make sure they’re met.

You do not want to get into an all-out fight with a sociopath when the sociopath feels like his survival is threatened.

With a sociopath, the best thing to do is to make the breakup seem like it was his or her choice; poison the well so the sociopath willingly leaves.

Become a helpless, emotionless, reactionless burden. Start being contrary, without being openly defiant. Pretend you’re tired, sick, depressed, say you forgot your keys; be incompetent, but make everything seem like an accident. If the sociopath gets mad, say, “Sorry,” but don’t fight back. Say, “I don’t know what’s come over me.”

Have long phone conversations with…people the sociopath hates. In general, let yourself go completely…be as intolerable to live with as possible without being confrontational.

After about three months (give or take), the sociopath will be out of your life.

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Jennifer Smith - True Love Scam Recoveryhttp://www.truelovescam.com
Jennifer Smith founded True Love Scam Recovery in encouragement and support of those hijacked by a sociopath in a true love scam after marrying and escaping one herself. 'The Sociopath's Scam - It Isn't Personal' in Shahida Arabi, 'Becoming the Narcissists Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself'.
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