As an empath, I’ve always been the kind of person that wants to help people, to make them believe in goodness, and to be there for them when others aren’t.
I thought this is a good way to help them and to stand there, especially because I know how it is when no one sustains you. I thought that I’m making a difference in someone’s world and this made me feel really good, until one day I realized the vice versa.
I absorb others’ energy; it means I can easily get drained. I feel others’ emotions, and it’s really a struggle for me to learn to observe others’ emotions and not to absorb them. The worst is that people to whom once I was kind were trying to get more of my energy; it seemed like it wasn’t enough the energy I already gave them. So I ended up, tired and feeling worn. I felt like some toxic energy is being spread on me, and I can’t do anything to change this.
And at that moment, in my head rushed a thought: it’s my fault because I’ve tried so hard to be kind to others that I forgot to be kind to myself, also. Because I can’t offer to others my best when I’m drained, I’m tired or I’m sick.
It’s true that our happiness depends on sharing and not on receiving. But I can’t share something I don’t have.
So here’s my conclusion, starting from this moment, I put my mental health above everything else. Not my job, my career, my friends, my family, my hobbies. Nope. My mental health, my inner peace, and my well being. Because I really believe, that it’ll turn out that it’s the best decision. Doing so, I’ll learn to distinguish between who really needs my help and who is an energy drainer.