My first point for such people are they should at least try to think out of the box.
They should try to understand why we have this resistance and why we find it challenging to simplify our life\’s.
I have seen many couples who fall out of love because they stop treating each other with the respect, attraction, that passion and affection that what all make up a relationship like romantic relationship.
Some times my clients ask me that how they can have a romantic lovey dovey relationship with their partners. My simple answer to them which I also follow in my personal life is accept your self and the partner the way they are.. accept their flaws and accept your own flaws.. know yourself before trying to know the other person.
Know when & how you become a blooming flower and when you become a painful itchy throne. When you will understand your own self you will be very focused, determinant and secure in every relationship, be it be with your own self, your family, your partner or any of your friend.
But here comes the big thought which I always hear back that this world is too much manipulative, people can\’t live in honesty, people can\’t find it safe experience when they show them-self as original themselves.
It\’s an equal big thought- Yes this world is rashful, yes this world is manipulative, YOU have to recall that you are living in this world and your thoughts your mind your brain is all about the key. If you change the pattern and accept your good or bad and start leading your life accordingly then the relationship which you will make automatically be responsive in same pattern. HUMAN IS BIGGEST COPY CAT.
Second issue which I see in people that they do overly love and connect with other person that slowly they start losing themselves. They forget their own mind and follow blindly what others like or dislike. They begin to form an illusion of fusion.
As they have forgot themselves they forgot how they are , they like, they behave they trust or they react.. this overly love and affection is most dangerous thing in any relationship because the moment you realize that one of you is of compromising state and other is of dominating state then the miscommunication starts to happen.. misleading facts and many harmful hurting feelings starts popping. Just because you forgot your own-self and its a basic theory when you lose some thing but naturally turn mad over things.
In such situations without realizing the ground realities they pretend or forcefully feel or make other person feel their emotions, which are actually not the one\’s. How ever they lateral ended up frustrated. Instead of feeling their partner as close person they start feeling STRUCK with them.
The third most important point is – INNER VOICE. which mostly people deny; because with time with circumstances they have practiced on avoiding themselves rather than of trusting own instincts they trust on material facts.
In my counseling sessions for happy relationship – The only KEY I use and recommend to use is respect your self and respect the person you are with. Be honest to yourself and be honest with the person you are with.. With gratitude with love and respect (don\’t misunderstand respect with trust; trust comes differently; respects comes first as you should give value to the thoughts and expression of speech/ mind of the other person) which is not necessarily be according to your way of living.
People who have followed this pattern I have seen them being in harmonious relationship even when they are totally opposite to each other in taste n smell , language and life style but they are living happily because they have understood them- self and this self understanding is their foundation of happiness.