Are You a Keeper? Rate your relationship desirability
Good long-term relationship partners have many of these traits. You can probably think of others that have special significance for you or your partner. The following short quiz will help you evaluate where you stand now on these fifteen.
The quiz is comprised of one summary question for each of the fifteen traits. Answer each question with a number corresponding to the following guide:
Most of the time = 5
Some of the time = 4
Occasionally = 3
Not often = 2
Never = 1
Trait One – Accountability
Do you take responsibility for the decisions you make and the behaviors they cause?____
Trait Two – Rhythm
Are you comfortable with your personal rhythm and how you blend with those of others?___
Trait Three – Interest
Do you actively help to make each situation interesting?___
Trait Four – Humor
Do you help people to see the sunny side of life when it’s appropriate?___
Trait Five – Evenness
Can you stay centered under stress?___
Trait Six -Guilt
Have you let go of worrying about mistakes?___
Trait Seven -Storing Good Times
Do you remember to keep a cache of meaningful experiences?___
Trait Eight – Authenticity
Can you be trusted by others to be honest about what you believe?___
Trait Nine – Marketability
Are you realistic about your value to others?___
Trait Ten – Valuing Others
Do you treasure the people you’re with?___
Trait Eleven – Staying Focused on what is important
Do you avoid getting caught up in useless energy drains?___
Trait Twelve – Self-soothing
Can you calm yourself when stressed?___
Trait Thirteen – Transformation
Are you committed and open to seeing things in new ways?___
Trait Fourteen – Self-Care
Are you taking good care of yourself?___
Trait Fifteen – Being Present
Are you treasuring your present moments?___
Add up your scores. The total will end up somewhere between 15 and 75. The higher your score, the more you are a Keeper.
You may find that you score three or higher in some categories and less in others. Look first at those questions where you scored a 1 or 2. Those are the most important areas to work on. No one is perfect, so don’t criticize yourself or your partner.
Change takes commitment, but it also takes time and practice. Your higher scores may already be serving you well in your current relationships.
Hopefully, after learning about the traits and behaviors that predict better long-term relationship success, you will look for them sooner in new relationships.
Keepers are sometimes just born that way but, more often, they hone themselves by life experiences and their determination to have more successful relationships.
If anyone you know calls you a Keeper, consider yourself one of the chosen people. It is the most significant compliment any person can give another.
Written By Randi Gunther Ph.D.