4. Don’t Focus On One Word Or Sentence.
When you are in an argument, do you find that you tend to focus on one ugly word or one disrespectful sentence that has been said?
Do you find that, if your partner makes an offhand comment that you find unkind or condescending, you cannot let it go? Does the fight then pivot to that one thing instead of what originally caused it? And does that just derail the whole thing?
One key part of keeping control of your emotions during conflict is to not focus on the small things. Yes, we all say things in the heat of the moment, things that we regret but once they are said there is no unsaying them. If you can keep in mind that we are all only human and we say things that we don’t mean, this might help you let them go.
5. Don’t Pick A Fight.
For many of us, we spend our days in our heads. If something has happened that is upsetting us, we might dwell on it and get ourselves all worked up. Once we are worked up, we have two choices – to bring it up calmly with our partner or to pick a fight. Most of us pick a fight.
If we pick a fight instead of approaching something from a calm place, the fight is derailed even before it begins. Our emotions are already elevated and our partner is immediately on the defensive. The fight will escalate and have no chance of being resolved – which can only make everything worse.
I encourage you to, if you are struggling with something, tell your person that you need to talk about it. Don’t be passive-aggressive or snide. Just be a grown-up and talk.
Learning How To Keep Control Of Your Emotions Is Not An Easy Thing To Do.
We are very emotional creatures, particularly women, and when we care deeply about something, it’s hard for us to not feel our feelings.
But, if you can learn how to not pick a fight, how to step away and take a deep breath in the middle of a conflict, to stay focused on how you’re feeling, and to not vilify that ONE thing that was said, you will definitely be a long way towards controlling your emotions.
And, I think you will find that, if you can keep control of your emotions during a conflict with your partner, your relationship will be healthier and, if it has been struggling, it might be saved.
You can do this! I know you can!
Written By: Mitzi Bockmann Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin