7 Surprising Ways People Are Often Judgmental When They First Meet You (According To Science)


5. How Often You Talk About Yourself

While you do want to find commonality between you and the other person, you don’t want to redirect every conversation back to you. Opt to ask your new friend questions and inquire about their life. People will notice if you always talk about yourself and wonder if that’s the only thing you care about. “People who speak mostly about themselves and do not ask questions are perceived to be self-absorbed,” says Chronister.


6. Your Facial Expressions

Ever looked at someone you’ve just met for the first time and wondered why they weren’t smiling? Maybe they have spinach in their teeth or they’re bored with the conversation. Either way, how you choose to express yourself can determine how your first encounter with a person will go. “In the first few seconds, we are completely judgmental and analyzing many things about that person. Is she/he smiling? Is she/he looking at me in the eyes? Do I feel connected to this person? These first few moments are not happening on a conscious level — we’re getting a sense of how we feel around this person and if these are positive or negative feelings,” says Zangara.


7. If They Can Trust You

According to Business Insider, Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy said that people will judge you mainly to find out if they can trust you. “If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative. A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”

While no one likes to be judged, it’s simply a part of life. People do it to see if they can trust and respect the person they just met. So don’t feel you’re being analyzed the next time you meet someone. Enjoy their company and remember that they’re just trying to get to know you!

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