If there is one thing I have discovered is that it is okay to be shy. I have spent much of my life with the inner conflict that io be shy was not a good human trait. I would look at others that were outgoing, seemingly so sure of themselves, and were cool, having all the friends. I thought I wanted that.
Try as I may to pattern myself after them, I would always fail, leaving me feeling worse than before. For one thing I didn’t like the person I had to become for that popularity. It just wasn’t me.
It was either turn around my thinking or live a miserable existence with a battered self esteem. I had been looking at all the bad things related to being shy. If there are bad things, there must be good. That’s just the way it is. For one thing i could be laid back. I didn’t have to be up in the middle of everything try to be something I was not. Alway having to be talking, usually about nothing. It just made more sense to me not to always say something , but when I did it was worth to the conversation. My biggest discovery was the girls liked guys that were a little more thoughtful and reserved, and didn’t have to be the middle of the conversation. How liberating that was to find friends that liked me for who I are instead of what I was not.