3. Honesty Without Trust Has No Value
Trusting narcissists can be one of the toughest things you can do in a relationship because almost all they do is lie. No matter what you say or ask them, they will always have a lie on the tip of their tongue. They will be “honest” with you and not be honest at the same time. Ever delusional in their psyches, they figure if they can CONTROL the truth from seeing the light of day if they can keep prisoners from speaking up then they can control reality.
In such a situation, how is it possible for you to trust someone who lies so easily and openly? The funny part is, if you confront them with this, they will give you a hundred excuses as to why they said what they said. As typical of their nature, they will manipulate the situation and somehow convince you of their innocence and why they are right. If you somehow end up believing him, then well and good but if you do not, then you are “crazy”, “suspicious”, “overbearing”, “nagging” and whatnot.
Manipulating and undermining people is what a narcissist does best, and that is why being in a narcissistic relationship can severely affect your mental health.
4. Genuine Love Can Never Abuse You
The difference between being in a narcissistic relationship and a normal relationship is simple: a person who genuinely loves you and understands you will never abuse you in any form or the other. Love can never mean abuse but a narcissistic relationship definitely can. Emotional abuse is a part of a narcissist’s repertoire and is one of their biggest and powerful weapons. The only way they can get what they want is by emotionally and mentally abusing you, to the point that you submit yourself to them completely.
Love does not mean to lie to, lie about, lie to cover up, lie to frame people, lie to get away with and otherwise deceive and con people that deserve your transparency and honesty. It is not just a simple mistake, that a man or woman fails to mention that they had unprotected sex numerous other people outside of their marriage, but rather a horrible way of disrespecting your spouse.
Love is not constantly telling your partner that he/she is worthless or useless or how they are only good for sexual satisfaction or how they should just kill themselves. Going through such horrific mental torture can permanently change a person’s mindset and how they perceive themselves.
When we are stuck in the vacuous world of narcissists, we can’t see the abuse for what it is. We call it love and we try to get back to the positive feelings that they made us feel. We try harder, making ourselves more vulnerable, more patient, more understanding, but the narcissist just reads that we’re available to take more supply from; certainly nothing more – the more we let them use and abuse us, they view it as tacit approval to continue to abuse us, and if we stay, that is what they will do.
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