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The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist: Is There One In Your Life?  

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist : Is There One In Your Life?  

9. They will never love you but can fake it if they need to.

When they focus their high beams on you, you’ll feel like the most important person in their world, but it’s all an illusion. They’ll never do more than use you and when they’ve used you up, they can turn off their attention as abruptly as switching off a light.

For a toxic narcissist, being in a “relationship” is never about appreciating you for your unique qualities; it’s always about the advantage they gain by associating with you.

Have you ever been in love with a toxic narcissist? Read The Narcissistic Love Script: Why He Chose You and Why He Dumped You

10. They’ll always be unreasonable, insensitive, self-serving and inflexible.

They’re cold-hearted, intractable, immensely greedy and supremely self-absorbed. If you have a problem with their shockingly bad behaviour, they’ll accuse you of being hysterical, of imagining things or of being cruel to them. They won’t listen to reason and you’ll never be able to make them change.

Knowing these things about a toxic narcissist should help you identify those in your midst and hopefully, protect you from being yet another casualty of their cruel selfishness.

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And check out my new podcast series. In episode two I talk with filmmaker and activist Matthew McLaughlin about masculinity and self-acceptance.


Being with a toxic narcissist can be emotionally and mentally draining for anyone. Even though, you cannot change them, knowing the attributes of a toxic narcissist can help you understand them and deal with them better.

If you want to know more about the attributes of a toxic narcissist, then you might find this video interesting:

Originally appeared on Marcia Sirota MD

If you’re a people-pleaser and can’t stop being nice, Check out Marcia’s upcoming book:

Be Kind, Not Nice: How to Stop People-Pleasing, Build Your Confidence and Discover Your Authentic SelfPublication date: December 1, 2016, on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist: Is There One In Your Life?  

The Ten Attributes of a Toxic Narcissist : Is There One In Your Life?  

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Dr. Marcia Sirota

Dr. Marcia Sirota is an author, speaker, coach, and psychiatrist. She's the founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute and author of Be Kind, Not Nice: How to Stop People-Pleasing, Build Your Confidence and Discover Your Authentic Self. Her areas of expertise include addictions, workplace burnout, co-dependency, interpersonal communication, leadership, and empowerment.View Author posts