(A U) 12. Being secretly infatuated with someone over a period of time.
(A U) 13. Kissing another person romantically with no sexual contact.
(A U) 14. Sexual contact with another person that does not include genital sex.
(A U) 15. Sexual contact with another person that does not include intercourse.
(A U) 16. Professing love/infatuation to another without physical sexual contact.
(A U) 17. Having sexual intercourse with another person without emotional involvement.
(A U) 18. Being involved emotionally and physically with another person as a way of improving your marriage/relationship.
(A U) 19. Being involved with another person while keeping it a secret.
(A U) 20. Both of you having partners outside of your marriage/relationship.
Items 1-5: As benign as these activities might seem, with any “acceptable” (A) answer for behaviors 1-3 you should be alert to the bonding nature of shared time and intimate conversations.
An (A) for 4 or 5 is a little more serious, since fun and privacy further deepen the connection.
Items 6-10: Any (A) item in this group constitutes a warning.
6 and 7: There is no such thing as non-sexual physical affection when you are attracted to the other person or he/she is attracted to you.
8: Beware of the negative influence other people can have on your relationship.
9: Be sure you are not missing an important opportunity to deepen your love with your partner by using another as your confidant.
10: Private flirtatious email conversations are one of the most common paths to infidelity.
Items 11-15: You have crossed into the infidelity zone.
11: Flirting means you are available.
12: The fact that an infatuation extends over a period of time indicates you are feeding it.
13: Romantic kissing is the doorway to sexual infidelity.
14 and 15: How would you like it if your partner did either of these?
Items 16-20: These behaviors destroy relationships.
16: Emotional intimacy is just as serious a threat as physical intimacy.
17: It is nearly impossible to have ongoing sex with someone without forming an attachment.
18: Often used to justify infidelity, this still poses a significant threat.
19: Secrets fan the flames of passion, and are a source of looming stress for the unknowing partner.
20: Though some couples choose this arrangement, it is extremely difficult to maintain over a period of time.
Originally appeared on – Your Tango