Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect façade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?
Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.
Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shall we?
Related: How To Identify Love Bombing: The Narcissist’s Soulmate Scam
What Does Love Bombing Mean?
Love bombing is a form of psychological and emotional abuse, where someone goes out of their way to win you over, and show you how much they “love” you. They try to convince you that they are head over heels in love you, and want nothing more than being in a serious and exclusive relationship with you.
Love bombing can be done intentionally or unintentionally. Also, one of the most interesting things about love bombing is that, even though it’s mostly done by romantic partners, in some cases, family members or friends may do it as well.
Now that we have talked about what does love bombing mean, let’s talk about the signs you are being love bombed.
10 Warning Signs Of Love Bombing
1. They pamper you with expensive presents.
Because they want to be acknowledged for their “generosity and attention”, love-bombers usually shower their partners with expensive gifts.
At first, this might seem like a dream scenario, and you will feel loved and pampered, but eventually this will evolve into control, criticism, insults, or even withdrawal if they feel they are not receiving enough recognition for their acts.
Importantly, the gifts they give you are less about making you feel happy and special, and more about making you feel like you owe something to them.
2. They try to play the hero or savior, in case something bad happens to you.
Love bombers are no heroes, and always remember that; they don’t even understand the concept of trying to save someone or trying to do anything good for someone else. The truth is, they will go out of their way to help you, because they might be having an ulterior motive.
One common fantasy such people have is to be the “hero” for people who are in bad situations, just so they can get praise and admiration heaped upon them. This is one of the major warning signs of love bombing, and you would do well to keep this in mind, and steer clear of such “helpful” people.
3. They are constantly calling and texting you.
How often does your new partner dial or message you? Is the relationship kind of one-sided whereby they seem to be reaching out much more than you respond? And when you finally text back, do they immediately get back to you?
Someone who always makes you their top priority, and spends their entire day calling and texting you, is one of the most subtle signs of love bombing. They want to make you feel special and adored but at the same time they are also obsessed with you.
Which is why, they constantly keep on contacting you, hoping that you will feel the same and indulge them.
Related: How A Narcissist Love Bombs His Victim Into Submission
4. They are always complimenting you.
“You are so beautiful.”
“You’re absolutely amazing. I have never met anyone like you in my life.”
“You are my soulmate.”
“You complete me.”
“I am nothing without you.”
Flattery feels good, but it can also become overwhelming. Because in the end, there’s this tiny part of you that whispers, “you don’t even know me that well yet!”
Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse that manipulative people often use to get close to you because they know very well that compliments mean love and are an easy way to win your heart and trust.
5. They try to make you feel guilty for having boundaries.
What does it mean to get love bombed, you wonder? Being made to feel bad for having a few boundaries! Yes, you heard that right, my friend. A love bomber will always try to make you feel bad for having boundaries and will guilt-trip you for letting go of them.
They may say things like, “You love me don’t you? Then why don’t you want to spend time with me?”, or “We love each other. Why do you need space from me?”
Every relationship needs healthy limits; however if someone starts testing your limits, and tries to make you feel bad for being independent and wanting space, then run and don’t look back.
6. They speak badly about all their ex-partners.
What does it mean to get love bombed? This right here.
We all have hang-ups about our exes that’s why they’re our exes. However, love-bombers go overboard when they complain about their exes. One of the biggest warning signs of love bombing is when they denigrate and put down all their ex-partners, and behave like a hapless victim.
This is not flattering; instead, it’s just another way of saying “I take no personal responsibility for my actions in my past relationships.”
It can also be a subtle way of grooming. When someone lays down numerous negative things about their ex such as how she used to complain a lot, maybe you’ll remember to look away when they begin showing shady behaviors.
Related: 10 Signs Of Romantic Manipulation
7. They behave like the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, but you still feel like something’s off.
Do not, and I repeat, do not ignore this feeling; this is one of the glaring signs you are being love bombed.
Maybe it was because they didn’t take no as an answer when you showed little or no interest in being physically intimate with them. Or maybe it was the way they kept on praising you over every little thing they could think of, or it might simply be the smile on their face that doesn’t seem that genuine.
If something feels off, more often than not, chances are it is. Learn to trust your instincts and do what your gut tells you, and everything will be fine.
8. They seem to suffer from an infinite number of traumas.
Everyone you know might have been through something disturbing and hard in their past, and this might also include the love bomber. However, do you ever have a feeling that they might be exaggerating their trauma? Or do you feel like they are milking their past for getting empathy from you?
Going on and on about their pasts is one technique used by love bombers to try and come closer to you. If they love bomb you at the same time they will make statements like “Only you understand what I have been through before”, or “You are the only person who knows about this”.
You are then left feeling like there is nothing else for you to do except be there for them always and unconditionally.
9. They push you to be in a serious relationship very soon.
Another one of the biggest warning signs of love bombing is this right here. Love bombers often try to secure a relationship quickly.
They feel insecure if you try to know them more deeply before committing to them; that’s why, they try to manipulate you into being committed to them.
This could mean moving in together a mere couple of months after meeting. Or, it could even mean proposing marriage earlier than you might have imagined.
Related: 5 Ways To Disarm A Love Bombing Sociopath
10. They stop love bombing after they have “won” you, but they start doing it again, in case of conflicts.
No one can keep up a love bombing charade indefinitely. At some point, your “loving” partner will become bored or annoyed or disconnected from you. Once that happens, they unleash their anger on you, and they start blaming you for every little thing that goes wrong in their life.
Therefore, if you notice that the love bombing starts only after things get nasty or when it seems like you are considering ending the relationship, know that you should definitely do the latter.
They are simply scared of you understanding their game and that’s why they’re banking on their “good behavior” pulling you back into their drama.
Bottomline
Real love is never complicated, confusing, or twisted; it’s only the wrong kind of “love” that might make you feel like this.
By identifying these warning signs of love bombing, you can be smart enough to protect yourself from heartbreak and make the right decision for yourself and your future.
Always remember that genuine affection never resorts to manipulation or dominance over someone.
Have you ever noticed any of these signs of love bombing in your present or past relationships? Do let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!
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