Negativity can weigh especially heavy on an intuitive and deeply feeling introvert’s mind and heart. If you have a penchant for criticizing or judging, then time with you will have to be limited. I absorb emotions and energy from others. I easily slip myself into their shoes and feel what they feel. Not all introverts experience this, but the more intuitive and empathic ones do.
“One of life’s greatest pleasures is the anticipation of pleasure.” ~ Unknown
I love love. Who doesn’t? I dream easily of romantic scenarios. Conversations and canoodling for hours. Nights of Lights in the city, simple bedrooms in country farmhouses. I’m most definitely a hopeful romantic.
I both get lost and feel at home in love songs.
The Space Between
I read somewhere that it’s the space between times with a special person that encourages an introvert to fall in love. Their internal replays and daydreams are so pleasured rich that the relationship is enhanced.
“Many of us (introverts) want and have great relationships, but we generally prefer no relationship to a bad one.” ~ Laurie Helgoe, Introvert Power
It’s not always easy to find a partner who understands an introvert’s need for downtime. Most recently, a gentleman who I had been talking to over the phone and corresponding with online told me that we would probably make better friends than partners. He said my independence may not work for him. He wants someone to witness experiences with him. I’m not exactly sure what he meant, but in truth, I think I am one of the best people to witness experiences with. I pay attention and revel in awe over the simplest things. I believe he meant he needed MORE shared experiences. Quantity AND quality. I admired him for speaking honestly and after that our conversation relaxed. I had been holding my breath wondering if I could keep up with the amount of attention he extended and expected.
That’s something I worry about — keeping up with the other person’s affection. What if they text, call, or write to me ten times a day? Do I have to reciprocate the same amount? Will that become old and exhausting? Another reason to be discriminating when dating.
Solitude an Option?
If we are going to put ourselves out there it has to be good. Better than solitude. Solitude is always an option for introverts. We use the time for ourselves to renew. Of course, during solitude, it is completely possible that romantic daydreams surface sending us out again to find something very very good.
What kind of lover feeds you rather than drains you? Have you been fortunate enough to experience energizing love? Are you in an expansive relationship now?
Are you an introvert trying to explain to your partner what you need? Or are you more of an extrovert trying to understand your introverted partner? Either way, I can help guide you to a greater understanding of your relationship. Please contact me to set up a coaching session. I’d love to help enhance your loving relationship.
Written by Brenda Knowles