Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who’s Broken By An Emotional Psychopath

 February 07, 2018

Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who's Broken By An Emotional Psychopath




She will be scared to love again. Since her dreams were shattered, love doesn’t play an important part in her life. That was who she was before him. Love is not a beautiful thing she is dreaming of any more, no.

Love has become pain he caused her. Loving someone has become the same nightmare she was living in when she was with him. And it will stay that way for a long time. It will stay that way until she finds her old self again. His every harsh and cold word made her hate love even more. His every manipulation and emotional abuse made her never want to fall in love again.

She never knew what true love was. She never experienced the feeling of safety and support. She never got the real picture of love. The only thing she felt was abandonment, pain, and loneliness. It will take her a lot of time to put down her walls and let real love enter her life. She will doubt it, she will question it but she will accept it in the end. Because real love never gives up. It never walks away.

She wants to be alone. She needs some time to heal. She needs some time to rearrange her thoughts. She needs time to put her feelings in the right place. She needs time to understand what is right and what is wrong. She needs to learn to live again because when she left him, she gave herself a second chance to live.

After she wins the battle, and she will, she will beautifully turn into a chaos filled with rainbow colors. She is a woman who will never surrender. She is a woman who will fight for herself, even when there is no will or strength left in her. She is strong, as strong as night that survived a storm.

The loss will always be on the psychopath’s end, who wanted to but miserably failed at destroying her.

Her life will never be the same anymore, but what happened to her, sobered her up. It enlightened her and gave her a lot more to live for. She knows she only has one chance to live and she won’t waste it by feeling sorry for herself and by settling for anything less than the best.

 

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. – Cayla Mills

 

Related Video: 12 Red Flags You Are Being Psychologically Manipulated

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One comment on “Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who’s Broken By An Emotional Psychopath

  1. I can not put into words how much your writing has touched me in every aspect. It is more than beautifully written and well put together. I think I felt almost every emotion while reading this. It has touched me in a way that is unimaginable. It definitely inspired me and motivated me even more than I am now. Not to even look back nor feel guilty. To know I wasn’t really going crazy or insane that I wasnt really loosing my mind at all it was just someone else’s sick torturous twisted game that I kept playing without knowing and had never saw coming. To know I didn’t actually loose myself, that I can and will find my true self again as long as I keep that one person out of my life I to will recover. To know and feel the real level of pain I have felt, endured and still feel from the betrayel, hurt and just plain lose of self all together was one thing but to actually know what the cause of all of it was from is another. To know my judgement was that off and what I failed to see was enough to make me more then sick. Once past that part of realization, thats where I’m at now just made me more determined and want to get my life back to what I once knew it as and my true self back even a little more. I feel like there is a new found freedom for myself and im finally feeling happy and definitely less stressed. How peaceful my life is again today, how my beautiful son can just fall right to sleep at night and even how I can lay my own head down at night and fall so fast asleep is all just because.. this time was different for me. I had no contact, I educated myself, I had enough, I did right, I took a stand this time not just for myself but for my only son as well. Just because this time I did not and will not return back to one place I once called home and have raised my small child in. It is a blessing in itself how quiet, loving and patient my life and my son’s life are now. My past has been a long drawn out painful & hurtful one of all sorts but I am entirely grateful that it has opened my eyes to the world in a whole new light. Your writing is also a true whole heartedly honest reminder for me of my past that ill forever keep with me. I will overcome it all, maybe not today but one day at a time. This time I am more determined then I have ever been before. Its like an awakening and an escape I’ve never saw coming but always dreamt of. I will keep your writing in close hands for my times of weakness since he will forever be in my life bc of our child together. I will reread this many times I’m sure of it and will remind myself that I am doing the right thing and need to keep looking forward towards a brighter future not my hidden darkened past that is at times still haunting me. Again, thank you for sharing this it has made me feel like I can be an even stronger woman and mother. It also made me feel understood since a lot of the time I feel misunderstood or like no one else knows what I really feel like or been through bc it is and was the hardest thing for me to even put together and really grasp since there were so many different dynamics of it all and sometimes to much for me to relive and talk about. It really is a sad situation for all of us that is or has went through this. Something that I think needs more attention, more awareness and should be brought to light more because I can only imagine how many other people are still living feeling stuck, scared, ALONE and as ashamed as I was and unwilling to talk about it with anyone else fearing it was myself, or just convinced I deserved it. We don’t play victim, we are the victim! I wish they would talk and she’d light on abuse more often. Maybe then some ppl would be more educated on it and would know the signs and what to really look for. After so long of being abused you really can not make an accurate thought, it starts to become okay and then the normal even if it wasn’t. Had I been aware or even knew more about emotional abuse and narcissism maybe I could have stopped myself from being tormented and belittled for the past 6 years of my life. Hopefully in the years to come there will be more light shed on abuse and those two topics exspecially. The word needs to get out there more of what it is and like to live it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Very meaningful to me. You’ve inspired me! Thank you, again.

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