Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who’s Broken By An Emotional Psychopath

 February 07, 2018

Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who's Broken By An Emotional Psychopath

He blamed her for everything. His every wrong move and mistake somehow became her fault. He never wanted to admit to his actions. Actually, he never even tried because he never even cared. That is the thing with psychopaths, they don’t have the need to feel remorse, they never regret anything, and they lack the ability to feel what others feel through.

As the poison of jealousy filled him, he became more violent towards everyone related to her. He desperately wanted her to be isolated, from her support system, into his merciless trap.

She had so much to offer to the wold; her unwavering weapons of affection and compassion to mankind made him feel vulnerable and insecure to the core. He wanted her to be like a submissive, timid rat. squeaking in the corner, cowering and begging before his indomitable power, his ultimate control. 

 

We destroy the things we fear;

 

To say he was self-centered is just overvaluing the word. He could not look beyond his armor of courage and grandiose. His selfishness was limitless. Everything was perfect if he was satisfied and happy, other hell broke loose. He was so harsh to the core that no amount of emotions ever touched him.

He made her believe in things that never happened. That is how he manipulated her. 

He knew exactly how to approach her and take advantage of the fact she loved him. Every time he did something awful, he would convince her otherwise. He would brainwash her into thinking it wasn’t his fault. She was the one who misunderstood. She was the one who reacted poorly. And after some time she started to believe him.

She thought she was going crazy, she was slipping into insanity. She thought she needed help and she blindly followed him because she thought he was her savior when actually he was the one destroying her.

But what he failed to see was that invincible spirit growing bit by bit within her, with every lost drop of tears.

His cruelty and manipulations broke her. They led her to the darkest place of her life. He stripped her of everything she had. But he never could have counted on her breaking free from him with that little strength she had left inside her.

She found herself broken and alone, but she decided to fight for her life. She decided to fight for that dream she once had. She decided it wasn’t over, not until she said so.

But her journey wasn’t finished. It just started when she left him. She swallowed her pride, she ignored what others were saying, and she patched her wounds so she didn’t bleed. She finally realized that she didn’t need him.

Now, there is a long way ahead of her. Now, she had to rise from the ashes. Now, she had to heal.

She was his victim for far too long. He leeched off of her. He took everything from her. She will doubt people for a long time and that’s okay. She has every right to do so. She has the right to be a mess. She has the right to bury herself under the sheets and cry her heart out. She has the right to suspect anyone who tries to enter her life, who tries to help her. He made her that way. He took her self-worth and her self-respect. He destroyed her to the crux.

One comment on “Inside The Mind Of A Girl Who’s Broken By An Emotional Psychopath

  1. I can not put into words how much your writing has touched me in every aspect. It is more than beautifully written and well put together. I think I felt almost every emotion while reading this. It has touched me in a way that is unimaginable. It definitely inspired me and motivated me even more than I am now. Not to even look back nor feel guilty. To know I wasn’t really going crazy or insane that I wasnt really loosing my mind at all it was just someone else’s sick torturous twisted game that I kept playing without knowing and had never saw coming. To know I didn’t actually loose myself, that I can and will find my true self again as long as I keep that one person out of my life I to will recover. To know and feel the real level of pain I have felt, endured and still feel from the betrayel, hurt and just plain lose of self all together was one thing but to actually know what the cause of all of it was from is another. To know my judgement was that off and what I failed to see was enough to make me more then sick. Once past that part of realization, thats where I’m at now just made me more determined and want to get my life back to what I once knew it as and my true self back even a little more. I feel like there is a new found freedom for myself and im finally feeling happy and definitely less stressed. How peaceful my life is again today, how my beautiful son can just fall right to sleep at night and even how I can lay my own head down at night and fall so fast asleep is all just because.. this time was different for me. I had no contact, I educated myself, I had enough, I did right, I took a stand this time not just for myself but for my only son as well. Just because this time I did not and will not return back to one place I once called home and have raised my small child in. It is a blessing in itself how quiet, loving and patient my life and my son’s life are now. My past has been a long drawn out painful & hurtful one of all sorts but I am entirely grateful that it has opened my eyes to the world in a whole new light. Your writing is also a true whole heartedly honest reminder for me of my past that ill forever keep with me. I will overcome it all, maybe not today but one day at a time. This time I am more determined then I have ever been before. Its like an awakening and an escape I’ve never saw coming but always dreamt of. I will keep your writing in close hands for my times of weakness since he will forever be in my life bc of our child together. I will reread this many times I’m sure of it and will remind myself that I am doing the right thing and need to keep looking forward towards a brighter future not my hidden darkened past that is at times still haunting me. Again, thank you for sharing this it has made me feel like I can be an even stronger woman and mother. It also made me feel understood since a lot of the time I feel misunderstood or like no one else knows what I really feel like or been through bc it is and was the hardest thing for me to even put together and really grasp since there were so many different dynamics of it all and sometimes to much for me to relive and talk about. It really is a sad situation for all of us that is or has went through this. Something that I think needs more attention, more awareness and should be brought to light more because I can only imagine how many other people are still living feeling stuck, scared, ALONE and as ashamed as I was and unwilling to talk about it with anyone else fearing it was myself, or just convinced I deserved it. We don’t play victim, we are the victim! I wish they would talk and she’d light on abuse more often. Maybe then some ppl would be more educated on it and would know the signs and what to really look for. After so long of being abused you really can not make an accurate thought, it starts to become okay and then the normal even if it wasn’t. Had I been aware or even knew more about emotional abuse and narcissism maybe I could have stopped myself from being tormented and belittled for the past 6 years of my life. Hopefully in the years to come there will be more light shed on abuse and those two topics exspecially. The word needs to get out there more of what it is and like to live it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Very meaningful to me. You’ve inspired me! Thank you, again.

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