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5 Insecurities Women Need To Stop Projecting Onto Their Relationship


5. That he’s just like your old boyfriend.

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Your guy now is not your past. If he’s acting like your ex, that has to do with you and your selection process. But if he’s just being himself and it reminds you of something from your past, why make that his problem? Is he supposed to feign perfection and never fall short or make mistakes along the way? Take the time to reflect on your past — and work through the past hurt/pain that accompanied whatever you’re feeling… without making your man now the villain.


The issues you’re dwelling on in your relationship are YOUR issues… not his.

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The guy who’s truly into you doesn’t see your flaws and doesn’t try to tap into your fears and insecurities. He sees your beauty, intelligence, and unique characteristics. If he does happen to notice your flaws, not only will he not mention them, but he’ll subconsciously chalk them up to what makes you the “you” he likes/loves.

Besides, by focusing so much on your perceived flaws, your opinion of yourself is incorrect, biased, and screwed up. Men — REAL MEN — see past your imperfections… because THEY, TOO, HAVE IMPERFECTIONS. My advice: Stop projecting your own issues on your man, and sabotaging your love life.

The Right Guy will accept you — imperfections and all. If you’re with a man who leaves you feeling unworthy or inadequate, you’re with the WRONG guy — fire him so you can move on to the someone who sees how amazing you are. And then, when you find that great guy, relax… let love in! And stop projecting your fears and insecurities all over him!


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Written by Charles J Orlando
Originally appeared in Charles J Orlando

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Charles J. Orlando
Expert, author, screenwriter, and co-host of FYI's Seven Year Switch. Charles J. Orlando is a relationship expert and bestselling author of The Problem with Women... is Men? book series and The Pact: Goodbye, Past. Hello, Love!, and the upcoming graphic novella Don't Date A Dick, and he serves as expert host of the hit show Seven Year Switch on FYI (currently in its second season). Referred to as "The Malcolm Gladwell of Relationships" by the media, and "Carrie Bradshaw-meets-Hitch" by his readers, Charles has built a 1,400,000+ person fan base on Facebook completely by word-of-mouth where he offers free, street-smart love advice to men and women around the world.
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