In therapy, my therapist and I were talking about my own feelings of self-worth in relationships. And she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. So I named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said, “You named things that you can give someone; ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are.”
And y’all… my mind was blown. That’s gonna stick with me forever. She then proceeded to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and I hadn’t even considered those because, like she said, I was focused on things I could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who I was as a person… goddamn! that’s tea!