6. Don’t get stuck in a self-defeating mindset.
Similar to self-fulfilling prophecies, irrational, self-defeating thoughts will sabotage your effort to find a fulfilling relationship.
Do not believe a negative thought is true without fact-checking. For example: believing you can’t change, thinking all men/women are alike, saying to yourself that nothing you do will work or that you’re too old to change, and so on, will keep you stuck and hopeless.
At the very least, if you can’t be positive, at least be neutral, open, and curious that you can change, and that your life can be different.
7. Refuse to accept bad behavior.
Your partner should be free of chemical abuse or addictions to anything – porn, alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, video games, and so on. This will not make an emotionally available, transparent, consistent, and reliable partner.
You should never feel unsafe or threatened in any way whatsoever. You should also never be controlled or abused emotionally, verbally, economically, and of course, physically. If you are not sure what all of these forms of abuse are, educate yourself and be clear on the signs to look for.
When you’ve learned early in life that others are untrustworthy, unresponsive, or even abusive, chances are you are now choosing a similar type of person as an adult. It can be a real struggle to break free from the comfort and familiarity of it all.
However, making profound changes and a full recovery is possible.
Having a healthy relationship, even if you haven’t had one before, is absolutely achievable.
You can learn what to look for and what it should feel like. And you shouldn’t settle for less.
Written By Marni Feuerman Originally Appeared In YourTango