The Narcissist’s Soulmate Scam: Identifying a Love Bomber


He will say all the right things, and it’ll just feel like you truly know him within days or weeks. You’ll feel like he understands you like no one else ever has, and no matter how smart you are, you’ll fall for it all – hook, line, and sinker. 

You might get overwhelmed with gifts (which, of course, as you’ll soon find out, always have strings attached). 

This will lead to the inevitable next step – he starts mirroring you; that is, he will start “reflecting back to you” exactly what you really want to hear. 

This is because, by becoming your ideal man, he gains a tiny bit of control over you. He can only gain the control if he has your full attention – and he knows the best way to get it.


“You just get me.”

He will tell you that somehow, you’re the first person he’s ever come along who “just gets him.” He’ll say that you understand him like no one ever could, and he will wonder how he ever got along without you. 

He might even ask, “Where have you been all my life?”

You might even find yourself wondering the same thing. 


The Soulmate Con

“Oh my god, I’ve never felt like this before!”

Narcissists play on our insecurities, and they tend to be rather attracted to empaths (mostly because they’re easy targets as they tend to be very in touch with others’ emotions – the narc uses this to their advantage). 

In many cases, they use our deepest fears against us, including and especially the fear of being alone. 

In love bombing, this takes a whole other turn – they go the other direction and make you feel loved, needed and protected. 

One common way they do this is to tell you that they feel like you’re their soulmate. You fall for it, because we all want to believe that our perfect One is out there, and the narcissist knows this and uses it against us. 


His Evil Ex

How does he talk about his ex? Most narcissists will have a terrible sob story to tell you about theirs. They will tell you how toxic she was and how crazy, and how by the end of it, he basically hated her. 

They will also sometimes tell you that “she left him” because of cheating or some other reason, but often, they blatantly lie because, let’s face it, it works. 

You feel sorry for him and without even realizing it, you may just vow to yourself that you’re going to become His Perfect Woman and make sure the poor thing doesn’t go through all of that ever again. 

See, as women, we’re caregivers. It’s in our nature to want to take care of and fix people and their problems. Especially when we’re in love with them.


But it all feels so good!

So, here’s the thing. If you’re currently in the love bombing phase, it’s unlikely that you’re actually reading this article right now. That’s because, during the “bombing” period, you’re going to feel absolutely amazing.