Want to give this season’s greetings in a fun and unconventional way? Here are some “I hate Christmas quotes” if you have common feelings like the Grinch!
Well, every year, it seems like Christmas comes earlier than usual. The holiday season is right around the corner, as soon as we put away the Halloween decorations or finish up with Thanksgiving.
For some, the Christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year but for some of us it may be extremely stressful, emotionally draining, and can bring up painful memories. Do you also roll your eyes and find yourself thinking, “I hate Christmas”?
Well, you’re not alone, according to a survey by APA, many people go through high-stress levels over the holidays due to a lack of money and time, gift-giving obligations, or family reunions.
So, if you’re more like the Grinch than Cindy Lou and want to try something new this holiday season, here are some funny quotes about hating Christmas.
Related: 9 Tips For Coping With Holiday Stress And Depression
30 Funny I Hate Christmas Quotes For The Holiday Season
1. “Mentally I’m ready for Christmas. Financially I’m not ready for Christmas.” – Unknown
2. “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.” — Bridger Winegar
3. “Keep calm and let me hate Christmas.” — Unknown
4. “This Christmas instead of gifts, I’m giving everyone my opinions.” — Unknown
5. “Whether you’re offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don’t really mean either.” — Unknown
6. “All I want for Christmas is for it to be over.” — Unknown
7. “May your medications trick you into believing you’re actually having a Merry Christmas.” — Unknown
8. “Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.” — Unknown
9. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” — Phyllis Diller
10. “This Christmas I’ve decided to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so all the people I don’t like can kiss my a$$.” — Unknown
Related: 51 Things To Do On Christmas – Alone
11. “Don’t annoy me this week, because if you do…I will give your number to all the kids and tell them it’s Santa’s hotline.” — Unknown
12. “I’m not romantic, and I don’t like Christmas.” — Paula Hawkins
13. “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” — Joan Rivers
14. “My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on.” — Unknown
15. “Dear Santa, just leave your credit card under the tree.” — Unknown
16. “She wondered if being good at being naughty counted?” — Unknown
17. “My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.” — Leslie “Les” Dawson, Jr.
18. “Christmas is a magical time of year… I just watched all my money magically disappear.” — Unknown
19. “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” — Victor Borge
20. “I’m trying to get into the holiday spirit but the damn bottle won’t open.” — Unknown
21. “One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.” — Louis C.K.
22. “There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.” — P.J. O’Rourke
23 “Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?” — A Charlie Brown Christmas Movie
Related: Funny Quotes: 20 Hilarious Quotes That Will Make Your Day
24. “Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, “Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?” — Jim Gaffigan
25. “This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.” — Anthony Jeselnik
26. “I’ve had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and I like to then walk around the mall and go, ‘No! No! This wasn’t what it was supposed to be about, people!’ Then if there’s a Santa at the mall, I walk up to him and say, ‘Listen, fat man, you’re just a clown at my birthday party.’” — Marc Maron
27.“I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway through wrapping them, and I realized, ‘Damn, I used the wrong wrapping paper.’ The paper I used said, ‘Happy Birthday.’ I didn’t want to waste it, so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.” — Demetri Martin
28. Just so we’re clear, the Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.” – Unknown
29. “I hate when people ask me if I’m all ready for Christmas. No Susan. I’m not even ready for today.” – Christina Marie
30. “I hate, loathe, and despise Christmas. It’s a time when single people have to take cover or get out of town.” — Kristin Hunter
Surrounded by Christmas spirit but seem to despise it? We hope that these funny holiday season quotes made you laugh and will give you the hope to get through the holiday season.
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