The Only Way I Can Be Vulnerable With You

My fingers crack with the energy of fire. My eyes dart in avoidance to a staring laptop, taunting my cowardice to open my heart and whack at the 26 keys that are the stepping stones that travel deeper into the parts of my unknown soul.

A good life is like making the perfect campfire, requiring patience to form the structure that will burn consistently, only requiring the occasional feeding to warm your soul that unites us to others where stories and tales are shared. Unity with others, sounds wonderful.

Oh how we long to be known, yet are suffocated by the labels that negate us. So is the process of freedom for each other, the bravery required to remove the title and rest our need to be seen. With the twittering of media, we reduce the depths of our fellow humans to only 160 characters, birthed from the 26 letter restriction to expression. How bitter this popularity has made me, so Iโ€™ll break free once again, only to be transcended to a land of isolation where I will walk alone.

From dust we came, and from dust we will return.

So what will we do with our assembled dust particles into human form while in between lives?

Ah the bitter sweetness of choices.

I am the ultimate rhythm of polarization, loving intensely one moment, only to recycle into the spiritual practices that purge me from the patterns of the relentless ego. Like the scorched grounds of a forest fire, my only hope is that Iโ€™ll be that one seedling brave enough to emerge from the devastation and flower brightly back into existence.

The tenacity of an over-active mind will drive me to maddening justifications without some practice of release or surrender. Call it religion, call it spirituality or yoga or whatever โ€ฆ doesnโ€™t matter, the name only signifies the act of a human in the motion of transcending a world of limitations found in form.

My soul longs to be held, yet here I am choosing to be alone on another long weekend knowing everyone else only has 26 little stepping stones to travel across such chasms of apparent separation to spend even a minute of connected oneness.

The 26 stones of others have been hurled at my head, torn though my heart and riddled my soul and after years of battle, my only answer is โ€ฆ love.

Shit! That sounds so unspeakably lame, weak and defenseless for surely the awesomeness of masculinity calls for more. So I suit up with armor indicative of the 21st century male, reshaping my 26 stones into the form of a quick whit, a competitive nature and an aggressive drive to beat my fellow man to the allusive dream of a finishing line where I drink from champagne-soaked trophies and kissed with accolades from the sexy models at either side. I want that medal of honor, right?

In the duality of this story, caught in the riptide of this sea of rhythms, I die. You die too. There is no happy ending, only nothingness.

Just then, in that space where all hope is lost and we are done, we experience the peace that surpasses our understanding and return to our 26 little stones that create beauty once again from the vibrations of love.

26 little stones. Thatโ€™s all I have to be truly vulnerable with you. In this state Iโ€™m both apologetic and ecstatically pleased at myself for we are one step closer to a safe intimacy where that thing weโ€™ve been trying so hard to create will finally appear.

Authenticity. It is upon us! We played relating games, we practiced various programming techniques and brain trickery to crack our shells. Like a marine boot camp, we scurried across the muddy fields of judgments, with the bullets of insult flying over head, we threw ropes over emotional walls, legs swinging over the ledges of pain and hurdling over the traumas of our past and in the endโ€ฆwe were exhausted.

This time it was different. We simply experienced a nakedness of our soul, we invited each other in and stood bravely to risk being known. My soul aches at the collateral damage that could have been avoided if I had only knownโ€ฆ vulnerability creates intimacy, and when I chose this over and over and over again, authenticity magically appears like that flower seedling emerging from the ashes of the blackened ground in the forest inferno.

Such is my rhythm of vulnerability. Writing is all I truly have to stand the test of time long after this human form returns to dust.

I pray it is enough.

I love you,

~Robin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Sarah R Conkle Avatar

    Still, the typist needs to get off his butt and experience true intimacy.

Leave a Reply

— Follow Us —

Up Next

My Rendezvous With Life

My Rendezvous With Life

The treacherous waters of existence hail in their stride,As the beauty of sailing against the winds uproars in its ride.Benevolence in its yonder stirs the mirth of the true,Navigating the turbulent waves, death and I had a rendezvous.

I sought the beauty of the light that was unseen,In the depths of my muse, I found my world within.Life in its flair, trudged me into the emblems of the dark,The dreams that perspired in the seed embraced their death,As it was time for a new quest to embark.

Quaint whispers that echoed in their gallant stance,The jeers that surmounted the uncertainty galloped in their dance.Silencing the wind, bestriding the fall,I plunged into the entirety of my endeavours that call

For I chose to befriend the walk that marked the

Up Next

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

The Power of Understanding Your Love Language

Love is the purest emotion one feels towards themselves and another individual. While the expression of love can vary in its entirety from one person to another, the care we hold for the ones we love shares an undeniable impact on how we forge our perceptions of interpersonal relationships. The way we communicate our feelings to someone also says a lot about how we are wired, the method of conveying our affection to our beloved ones is called a love language. You may express affection to the one you love regularly, but do you take the time to ensure that you are communicating it in the way that the other person prefers? Even love can become lost in translation when two individuals speak different love languages.

What are the five love languages?

Up Next

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

The Beauty Of Gratitude In A World Full Of Cynicism

Ever acquainted with the phrase that the world that you exist in, the life that you embody dwells in the perception of the stance you hold for yourself. The beauty and the tragedy of life is that it is as beautiful as the optimistic lens of perception and as ugly as the pessimistic view of your being.

The strive of our endeavours and the constant effort to achieve the next massive milestone often drive us to the edges of insanity, to be in the consistent light of greatness we lose sight of the great strings of joy that bind our existence together. To be the best we have ever been we must be mindful of the best we are. Coinciding in the traps of negativity and yet claiming to be the best version of yourself is a blinding truth that lies to only

Up Next

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I Breathe In The Sauntering Air That Collapses My Being

I breathe in the sauntering air that collapses my being,I breathe through the crevices of my existence unseen.Uncertainty in its yonder strikes in bolt on the scars that nobody sees,Redemption that loves, redemption that is free, find me in the depths of my poetry.

Tales of lust ridden in smeared touches that belie,Entreated with envy, the visions of victory lie.To be or not to be in a question that yet lies,For I yearn for a world where fond passion never dies.

Enclasped in the cage of the deemed duty,Bounded in her vows, she forgot she was a thing of beauty.In a realm we live, where amour in its truth fails to stand tall,She, tired of her existence, submerges herself into the beauty that her dreams enthrall.

Chaos in its uproar hails in its darkness

Up Next

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

The Impact of Conflict on Workplace Productivity and Morale

Conflict is a natural element of any dynamic whether it is personal or professional and knowing how to deal with it becomes an essential in any aspect of life. Conflicts in the workplace can arise for matters as trivial as difference in personal beliefs to matters such as project completions, working styles, deadlines, project goals and different outlooks towards work. For the sake of development and productivity, these disputes must be settled quickly and professionally. Understanding how conflicts arise and how to resolve them can help managers advance in their careers. We’ll go over what conflicts are, their different kinds, and the typical reasons why team members argue in this edition of The Wellness Digest.

What does conflict mean in the job?

Up Next

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Identify The Wounds Of Your Childhood

Being aware of the wounds of your childhood allows you to gain an understanding of yourself, including your emotions, behaviours, and thought patterns. Awareness is the first step towards healing, and acknowledging past wounds empowers you to address and work through emotional pain.

1. Wound of rejection

Childhood Impact: As a child, I felt like no one accepted me for who I was.

Adult Protection Strategy: Now, if someone or something makes me feel rejected, I tend to run away. I hide, isolate myself, and avoid everyone, even those who care about me. It’s like I believe everyone rejects me, and I don’t fit in.

2. Abandonment

Up Next

The Art of Self-Transformation: Tips for Personal Growth and Development

The Art of Self-Transformation

The journey of life often strikes us with a monotonous tone of finding chaos and distress in the mundanity of our daily lives. Not achieving what we set our mind to and being stuck in a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-pity is often a sign that something in our life is not going the right way. We need to take a step back and reevaluate the present situation we are in. Here are some concrete steps that you can follow to embrace change and become a better version of yourself.

1) Swot analysis –

One of the most important steps to understanding yourself is to assess your present situation and draw out the areas of your strengths,