I feel you when you’re not here.
I can be in the midst of my day, and taste you.
My heart aches for you.
My soul craves you, it misses you, and knows its been without you for too long.
You’ve completely consumed my thoughts so that I don’t think about anything else.
I’ve never been so drawn to something in this life
I’m addicted–you are my drug.
They say the first step is admitting the problem.
Why does it have to be so hard? Why do the most pleasing addictions end up ruining us? But no– I can’t say ruin–because I feel grateful for the experience.
When I tell myself “I am not going to use today,” my heart races to the point of explosion. All of my senses rebel against me, and I want to rip my skin off.
I’ve lost all control–I need to get it back.
My head is telling me to just quit. Cold turkey.
My heart is saying “just wait.”
I feel like I am losing this battle every day.
“God, all I want is to touch it, smell it, taste it, feel it, love it. Why do you create such wonderful things if they are not good for us?”
Maybe one day i’ll understand and see the collateral beauty in this.
My name is Nicole, and I am an addict.