The idea of those things can be very daunting and make men not want to take action. The very idea of divorce can be very embarrassing for a lot of men. They see it as a failure. And they don’t want to be a failure in the eyes of the world.
So, if your husband won’t divorce you, even though you were miserable, it very well could be because of the shame associated with it.
For many men, facing emotions can be very difficult. While it’s very easy for us women to process our emotions, it can be far more difficult for a man to do so. As a result, they might not see just how bad the marriage is.
Are you and your husband able to talk about your relationship?
Does he seem to understand that there are issues?
When you bring up the prospect of a separation or divorce, does he just shake his head and say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, we are fine’?
If this is your husband, you should try to understand that he is, most likely, in denial about the state of your relationship and that this could be why he won’t divorce you.
Additionally, many men say that they don’t believe in divorce and therefore they won’t get one. I always tell them that if they don’t believe in divorce, they need to start believing in marriage. And believing in marriage means working on it.
Working on a marriage can be scary but they might consider it better than getting a divorce.
5. Extended Family.
For many men, their extended family is very important. Their extended family is the one who they spent their childhood with, who taught them everything they know. And who created their issues and their habits.
As a result, many men are very concerned about what their family would think of them if they got a divorce.
Perhaps their parents were never divorced and they want to be like them. Perhaps they are worried about the judgment of their siblings. Perhaps, his parents never liked you and he doesn’t want to prove them right.
Also, know that your family could be a part of why he won’t divorce you. I know when my ex-husband asked for a divorce my mother made it all about her.
He had asked her for permission to marry me and he had promised he would love me forever. When he left me, my mother was furious. She spent the next few months complaining about how much he had let her down. That wasn’t helpful for me!
So, don’t underestimate the effect that your extended family might be having on his decision whether or not to get a divorce. Because it could be a significant part of this.
I hope you now have an understanding of why your husband won’t divorce you, no matter how miserable you are!
I do believe that, for many women, marriage is about love. Relationships are about love. But for many men relationships are about responsibility. They’re about finances, the kids, their place in society, and their family. The prospect of losing love might not be as daunting to them as it is to you.
That being said, there are many men who do believe in love and who want love. Those men might be holding on to the marriage because they don’t want to let go of the love or at least the hope of the love.
So, know that, while many of the things I’ve talked about are relevant, in reality, he might not want to divorce you because he holds out hope for the future.
I would encourage you to think about these things and talk to him about them so that you can make a decision together about moving forward.
Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Published On: Let Your Dreams Begin