That Truth was heavy… but it had the power to set me free.
Because the other part of that Truth was realizing that I am also strong enough to handle living, and being fully present, in a world which is scary and painful sometimes. The truth is that I don’t need make-believe to shield me from that reality anymore.
We all have lies about our bodies and worth.
They are often very convincing lies, given our life experiences. They are sometimes beautiful lies, tempting lies, because if our bodies are the problem, then we stand a chance of fixing it.
These are lies that have often protected us from some terrifying and painful prospects. It’s much easier to believe it was our body’s fault than to believe someone we loved would hurt us, after all. It’s much easier to believe the only thing standing between us and the life we desire is thirty pounds or a facelift, than to face the reality that maybe that life just isn’t in the cards for us.
I had a client recently realize she’d spent her entire adult life hating her body because she believed if only she could achieve a “perfect body,” then nobody would ever be able to hurt or leave her again.
It’s no wonder that, when we give our bodies a completely impossible job– like looking perfect enough to keep us safe, score us a life partner, or make us happy– we end up hating and resenting them for being what they are.
Sometimes it’s easier to blame your body for causing pain and rejection (or failing to earn you love or belonging) than to face what it would mean if, in fact, life is just painful, lonely, and scary sometimes.
But the truth will set us free.
Because when you go digging through the lies in your own unconscious mind, you will undoubtedly come across some truth that terrifies you… until you learn the even-deeper truth that you are strong enough to face and handle all of it.
If you struggle with body image, I encourage you to become a truth seeker. It’s hard, scary work sometimes, but on the other side of truth seeking is freedom. And, as Glennon Doyle says,
“we can do hard things.”
Besides, it’s not like hating your body is such a walk in the park. In fact, it’s incredibly fucking painful and lonely and difficult, as you probably already know. So since you’re already doing hard and scary things, you may as well do them in service of Truth, right?
At least that’s how I see it. And that’s how I help my clients see it too, because we are all strong enough to handle it, and because we all deserve to be free.
What do you think?