Always stick to the facts. I will meet you at this place at this time. I will expect you to return our child this time. Don’t engage in any emotion, whether it’s dealing with a narcissist at work or in a relationship. They will try to press your buttons to make you react emotionally. Because that tells them they still have control.
They will also use whatever you say back at you as a weapon to hurt you. For example, telling other people you’re the crazy one. Try to keep as far away and disengaged from them as you can.
They want to engage you, even negatively, as any engagement means you are still acting as supply to them. The most effective way to disarm a narcissist is to stay detached and disengage with them. Go no contact if possible. Narcissistic people want your attention. They want you to look at them. Then want you to hear them out. They want you to react.
As long as you give them attention, whether it’s loving or negative, they will be happy. Starve them of your attention and emotional reaction and watch how easily they fizzle out. Going no contact with a narcissist transfers the power into your hands as they will quickly shut down with zero attention from you.
Go grey rock. Disengage.
Written by Vivian McGrath Originally appeared on Vivian McGrath