How To Revive A Boring Relationship: 3 Practical Ways

How To Revive A Boring Relationship

Every relationship will get boring after you’ve been together for a while. Love is difficult, it’s not always about laughing and smiling. People tend to fall out of relationships when “the spark” starts fading out. You want somebody to love you and never give up on you, yet even with the best partner things eventually get “boring.”

Relationships get boring. We all wish they wouldn’t, but the fact of the matter is that a little boring – is unavoidable. This doesn’t mean, however, that it’s unfixable. How to revive a boring relationship is all about the small things you do (or don’t do) – and this blog post will show you how you can revive your intimate connection, with just a few simple changes. 

The Secret To A Happy, Long Relationship

Relationship researcher John Gottman is one of the leading experts on why some couples last and others don’t. 

He means that long, happy relationships are about connection and working together. That we need to have realistic expectations of our marriages and relationships and go with “good enough” as opposed to “perfect”. 

In essence, Gottman means that if we still want to hang out with each other, even after years and years together – that that’s pretty fantastic and, ultimately, enough. 

Boring Relationship

One way of how to revive a boring relationship is by adjusting your expectations and looking at the small, simple things that can be done to make it fun again. 

One of these is turning towards each other, as opposed to being away from one another. This means looking for connection even in times of irritation, as well as in times of joy and excitement. 

It may seem too simple or like something you perhaps already do. But there’s always room for improvement, and good, interesting relationships survive because of small things, often, not grand gestures that happen every six months.  

Read: How To Keep The Signs Happy During A Relationship

How To Revive A Boring Relationship By Turning Towards Each Other

Looking for ways to connect in your seemingly mundane week-day routine, can be a great way of revitalizing your relationships, as it mixes things up. 

As a clinical sexologist, I discuss lots of things with my clients besides sex. Below are three examples of common situations I’ve found a lot of couples end up in. They highlight why we all need to constantly work at turning towards each other – in both good and bad times.

1. Ignoring your partner’s boring work story

After a few years, or decades, our partner’s renditions of what Helen at the office did in the lunchroom, yet again, can start to get tedious. 

It’s only natural to fall into a pattern of starting to filter it out once your partner or spouse gets going again. 

The thing is – what Helen did (or didn’t do), matters to your partner. And to show that you don’t care by disengaging and blocking them out is to suck the energy out of your relationship. You don’t mean to, but it happens. 

Instead, try listening to their story, asking questions, and validating your partners’ experiences. Try and see if you can suss out if they’d like feedback or advice – or if they just want someone to nod in agreement and tell them that they’re right and that Helen really needs to get her act together. 

When you take a routine happening, like a boring Tuesday evening work story, and flip it into a moment of connection; you make it interesting, instantly feeling closer and having more fun together!

2. Calling your best friend to tell them the great news

Sharing positive emotions with your friends is important – however, it can be a good idea to make note of how often you do this with your partner too. 

Sometimes we fall into a habit of only sharing boring news with our spouses or partners. We tell them about the problems at work (enter: Helen), and share our worries and concerns about the kids. 

What we forget to do, is revel in each other’s joy. We charm friends and acquaintances at dinner parties – and we can actively work at charming our partner too. If you’re looking for ways how to revive a boring relationship, this is key. 

Next time you get great news or think of a funny anecdote you want to share – call your partner and connect. By doing this, you’re infusing your relationship with positivity, happiness, and humor. This strengthens emotional intimacy.

3. Sitting at opposite ends of the sofa while binge-watching TV

At the beginning of relationships sitting next to each other (or practically on top of each other), while watching TV, is the norm. It seems like we can’t get close enough. 

As time passes, we get comfortable sitting further apart, and before you know it we’re on opposite ends of the sofa, or in separate armchairs. 

This is ok. You don’t have to constantly seek physical contact to have a good relationship.  However – putting your arm around your loved one or holding hands can be a great way of connecting when you’re too tired to talk. 

It’s also a wonderful way of showing love and affection and it simultaneously offers an easy, undramatic way of initiating sex, should you feel in the mood. Next time you’re doing a Netflix marathon session, you might want to try getting close to one another. It doesn’t have to be fancy, sexy, or spontaneous – it just has to happen. 

Read: The Way You Act In A Meaningful Relationship Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Simplicity Is Key

Relationships can go stale over time which is why it’s important to keep remembering to turn towards each other. 

This can be done in lots of ways: 

  • By listening and validating your partner even when what they’re sharing is less than riveting
  • By sharing good news and fun stories along with the tough stuff
  • By being physically affectionate – sexual and otherwise. 

You don’t have to break out the grand gestures and go globe-trotting. When you’re looking for ways of how to revive a boring relationship, keep in mind that the key to less boredom over time, is making a few small tweaks here and there. That’s it. 

Originally Published On: Therapy by Leigh
How To Revive A Boring Relationship Pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

8 Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Ways To Upgrade Your Relationship

Do you feel like your relationship has lost that spark from before? If you answered yes, then you should know that many couples go through this, which is why it’s important to know how to improve your relationship. This article is going to talk about how to strengthen your relationship and upgrade your relationship.

It seems like it should be natural to treat our partners with love, consideration, and respect. Yet, for many people in long-term relationships, the warmth and kindness that were present in the early days of dating can fade over time.

Most people treat their partners with the utmost respect and kindness in the courting stage. The relationship probably wouldn’t have progressed if they hadn’t. Why do so many people present the best version of themselves early on, and over time, treat their beloved partners with disrespect, di



Up Next

5 Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

Ways To Rekindle The Spark In Your Relationship

If you feel that the spark in your relationship is gone, then let me tell you something – you can rekindle the spark in your relationship again! Now the question is, how to reignite the spark in your relationship? How can you make your relationship feel like the olden days again? Let’s find out!

Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed, has it been difficult to maintain those initial feelings?

Once life’s responsibilities, careers, kids, and the passing of time are added to the mix, that initial spark can easily diminish if we don’t keep it stoked.

Fortunately



Up Next

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Obsessive Ex? 4 Tips For Successfully Handling One

Deal With Your Partner's Obsessive Ex: Tips And Tricks

Have you ever had to deal with an obsessive ex? Moreover, have you ever had to deal with your partner’s obsessive and toxic ex? If you have, you already know how disturbing it is to go through this. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to deal with a toxic ex or deal with your partner’s toxic ex.

My friend is happily married to a man who has a child. He is a devoted and loving father who sought full custody of the children; the court denied his petition.

His two children are living with their narcissistic mother who actively alienates the children from their father. His ex was obsessed with him during their short and turbulent relationship. She was deceitful, abusive, controlling, and highly destructive. They hooked up while drunk.



Up Next

Are You Hesitant To Commit? 6 Warning Signs Of Lack Of Commitment In A Relationship And How To Navigate Them

Signs of Lack of Commitment in a Relationship: Red Flags

Do you always find yourself in short-term, casual relationships? Does the idea of committing in a relationship make you nervous? Are you showing signs of lack of commitment in a relationship?

Commitment issues can be a significant barrier to building a healthy and fulfilling partnership, affecting both individuals involved. Today, let us explore what are commitment issues, the signs that may indicate their presence, the underlying causes of commitment issues, and effective strategies to overcome them.

By understanding these factors, you can empower yourself to navigate the complexities of relationships with greater confidence and clarity.

Are You Afraid of Commitment?



Up Next

8 Mesmerizing Slow Burn Romance Movies And TV Shows To Wander Into Love

Best Slow Burn Romance Movies And TV Shows

In a world where relationships are often rushed through, slow burn romances are probably what we all need.

Slow-burn love is gentle and patient, it allows two people to truly know each other before they dive into the thick of it. These kind of slow burn romance movies and TV shows tell us vivid stories about love that grows like a flickering flame until it’s a warm hearth fire.

They steal glances, have heartfelt conversations, each moment growing more and more eager for their next interaction. And there’s something special about that anticipation.

It creates depth between characters when you see them grow closer episode by episode or scene by scene.

It doesn’t matter if it’s in the busiest city or quietest village, these stories always resonate



Up Next

Is Your Relationship Fading Away? 9 Things You Can Do To Save It

Relationship Fading Away? Empowering Steps To Save It

Do you sense your relationship fading away, and the once vibrant connection you shared with each other is slowly dying? Being in a situation like this is heart-breaking to say the least. When it seems like you’re in a fading relationship, it’s common to feel confused and not know what to do next. But don’t worry, there’s still hope.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve hit a rough patch or you’ve just grown apart a bit – there are some really useful steps you can take to reignite that spark, and revive a fading relationship.

Let’s look at some of the ways that can help you breathe some new life into your relationshi



Up Next

How To Stop Missing Someone: 8 Practical Steps For Moving Forward And Finding Peace

How to Stop Missing Someone: Steps to Finding Resolution

Is your heart yearning for someone? Are you missing them deeply? When you miss someone you love, it can feel like a piece of your heart is missing, leaving a void that feels impossible to fill. So how to stop missing someone and get over this pain?

Whether it’s a friend who moved away, a loved one who passed away, or a romantic partner who is no longer in your life, missing someone can be an incredibly challenging and painful experience. 

But it is possible to get over that pain and shine with love in your heart. Today, we will explore the reasons why we miss someone and share practical strategies to help you navigate through the journey of healing and find solace in your cherished memories.

Why Do We Miss Someone?<