However, this method can be risky and dangerous, as you are an empathic and caring person whose nature is to love and help your dear ones. Being two-faced and manipulative doesn’t come naturally to you. You are an authentic person capable of feeling deep emotions. So living a false relationship and going against your true nature can affect your mental and emotional wellbeing. However, if you are unhappy in this narcissistic relationship and desperately want to leave it for good, then this method of how to outplay a narcissist can be helpful.
Things You Must Remember
There are certain things that you need to keep in mind when trying to manipulate a narcissistic person. Some of them are mentioned below:
- Keep the focus on yourself, not on them
- Avoid the temptation to fall down to the narcissist’s level of toxicity
- Focus on being strategic, avoid being vengeful
- Use your emotional intelligence as your strength, not as a weakness
- Realize that you’re not responsible for their emotions
- Remember that you’re not a bad person or an abuser. It’s not your fault.
- Do not use negative emotions or give any negative attention or ultimatums
- Expect them to react in a negative way
- Build a support network and ask for help from trusted loved ones when needed
It is also important that you realize the narcissist may require professional help as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable mental condition. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., author and Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, explains “Recognize that the person may need help. Because some narcissists truly have low self-esteem and profound feelings of inadequacy, it’s important to recognize when they can benefit from professional intervention.”
This is why your caring and loving nature can be your greatest asset. Realizing that they are a human being who deserve your compassion can enable you to help them get the psychiatric care they need. Psychotherapist and consultant Steven Berglas writes “It is hard to dredge-up sympathy for a narcissist since working with or for one sets you up for an inevitable beat-down. You can forestall this outcome if you distance yourself emotionally.” However, make sure not to confuse compassion for narcissists with love or attachment for them.
You can help them, if needed, by staying emotionally detached. The key to how to outplay a narcissist is to keep the focus on yourself all the time. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive them. Forgiveness can truly liberate you and help you start your journey to move on and heal.
Be True To Yourself
The best way to manipulate a narcissistic person is to be your most genuine self and then use your personal power to regain control of your life. Narcissists thrive on your emotions and reactions. Stop feeding their ego and choose to leave. Walking away may seem hard from the outside but it is the most empowering feeling you can experience after being with a narcissist.
Your emotional intelligence and compassion are your strengths, not your weaknesses. You deserve to be with someone who values you for who you are without forcing you to be someone you are not.
If you want to manipulate a narcissist, go right ahead. Just remember to focus on your own improvement, not to be vindictive and be your authentic self.
More power to you.