And then respond with your version of reality. Tell them what matters to you. Allow yourself to be unpolished and raw. Let yourself be seen where you truly are. This is what bonds people together to build durable foundations of friendship.
4. When you meet someone you like, name your intentions directly
When you do meet a seemingly rare person that you sense a connection with, name your intentions directly with them.
Human beings are not minded readers. And directness is an attractive character trait.
Like what you see in them? Name it. Appreciate something about someone? State it directly. Want to be friends with this person? Tell them so.
It can literally be as unfiltered and truthful as telling someone, “I’ve really enjoyed this conversation. I feel drawn to you and find you really interesting. I’m currently looking for a few new friends in my life and I’d like you to be one of them. Want to grab lunch later this week? My treat.”
Chances are good that they will feel flattered by the gesture and take you up on it. And if they don’t, that’s fine too. There’s plenty of people for you to meet and befriend. There’s no need to rush or force these things. The right people will make their way into your life when you’re in alignment and be being honest with yourself.
5. Join groups
This ties back to the intention of filling your life with play. If all of the things that you tend to fill your time with are overly isolating, then it will be good for you to make a concerted effort to join a few social groups.
Book clubs, sports clubs, cooking classes, fan clubs… the list of options is endless.
Go to your local community center, bulletin boards, or MeetUp.com and find a few things that appeal to you, and then put them on your calendar and make them non-negotiable. Remember, your health and longevity depend on it.
6. Start a group
If you have been in research mode for weeks and aren’t finding anything that appeals to you, then it might be a time that you start your own group.
Start your own book club or special interest group. Start your own ultimate frisbee team. Start your own weekly men’s/women’s group.
Start it. Let people know about it (again, through your local community center, nearby bulletin boards, or MeetUp.com), and fill a room with the kind of people that you would want to meet, support, and befriend.
Presently in my life, I’m a part of a weekly men’s group, a weekly book club, a weekly dance class, and a weekly dinner gathering. While I personally didn’t start any of these, I attend these things on a weekly basis because people who became good friends of mine did take the initiative to start them.
You just have to start. That’s all it takes.
7. Host group gatherings with your new friends
Between your life being jam-packed with play and your various groups that you’re a member of, you’ll start to have more friends than you know what to do with.