GET OFF THE SOMEWHERE TRAIN.
A belief that stillness equals stagnation fueled my anxiety. If I wasn’t cramming the time available to myself to its maximum capacity, I was wasting time.
Wasting time = mediocrity = I will miss the “Somewhere Train”.
I always needed to get somewhere — clearly not physically during Covid — but from an achievement perspective.
I would enter my office with an attitude of time scarcity. “What if I don’t complete what I need to in the allocated time?”. The focus became outcome-based and I forgot to enjoy the process.
I was in a mental jail.
I was so tightly wound with fear that I sabotaged every task that would typically bring me joy. Having a great writing session became a criticism that I never finished the article instead of focusing on my progress.
The shift to letting go of this behaviour was setting an intention before every work session. I entered the workspace excited to create irrespective of what I finished — and also mindful that the deadline was a preference and not necessarily reality.
I encourage you to do the same. Set your intention ahead of the task and be aware of entering the session in a state of fear and “what if?”.
MOVE INTO FAITH AND TRUST.
Covid-19 put me to the test if I really can implement all I learnt from my meditation and yoga practice. It’s one thing to be Zen-like on the yoga mat, but how do you show up amid the daily challenges when it counts?
During a coaching session last year, my coach posed an interesting question:
“Do you feel like the universe has your back?”.
I paused and thought about this and realised the answer was no. I believe in a greater power than myself, but I didn’t think I could trust it.
I was somehow not included in this abundant universe; they left me off the list.
Have you ever been the organizer of an event — a party, a function, or a work event? The pressure is appalling because you have to take responsibility for everything that could and probably would go wrong.
On the flip side, think about how wonderful it is to arrive at an event as a guest. All you need to do is show up and enjoy the show.
I kept trying to be the host of my own event called life and wanted to control every aspect, so it went perfectly.
My ethos is about taking action and responsibility for my choices and owning what happens to me. I would never suddenly sit back and wait for things to happen for me and relinquish accountability.
However, I had swung the pendulum too far, and I needed to find a balance.