I was determined not to let this woman win the war for my thoughts so I did everything in my mental power to work through the experience and pull my thoughts out of her icy grasp.
If you’ve ever been subject to the cruel and venomous words of a toxic person, here are some of the things that helped me recover and gain control of my thoughts:
7 Tips To Heal After The Cruel Words of A Toxic Person
1. Don’t Believe the Lie
That cruel woman’s words had no truth to them. She didn’t know me or my family. But when someone tells you how disgusting or stupid or fat or whatever you are, even if it’s a complete stranger, there’s a small part of you that allows those words to creep in as your truth.
Have you ever dealt with toxic people? Read 10 Ways To Deal With Toxic People Who Spread Negativity
Fight against those lies, don’t believe them. You can determine your truth. You can choose which words you open yourself up to and which ones you close the door on. To get through this experience, I fought hard to make the words from the wise old man my truth.
2. Ask for the Love You Need
After all the noise that the woman shouted at us, I needed the silence of a quiet embrace. So I asked my husband to hold me so that I could feel grounded. At that moment I knew I needed his presence, love, and comfort, more than I needed words.
My husband would never have known this if I didn’t ask for it. Love yourself enough to ask for exactly what you need.
3. Use Nature’s Healing Power
Toxic words are so poisonous, it can be hard to get them out of your mind. Following that ordeal I was having trouble being present for my daughters so after we got home I took a walk through the woods with my dog.
I could feel my cells relaxing with each rustle of the wind in the trees. When negativity consumes you, nature is always there to show you how soft and beautiful the world can be. It will bring you back to you.
4. Find Compassion for Your Attacker
At first, I hated this woman, she seemed so evil. But then I considered a different perspective. She probably had dementia or some other mental illness. The ugliness that came out of her mouth likely reflected that illness, more than true evil.
Perhaps this woman, as harsh as she was, needed my compassion. Once I took that perspective, I no longer felt like a victim. No matter who your attacker is, finding a compassionate outlook for their struggle can elevate and strengthen you.
5. Take Your Time
It can take a long time to recover from venomous words. Trying to rush or bury the emotions they’ve stirred only makes the poison seep deeper. Take the time you need to process things and heal. However long, it will be worth it.
Have toxic people ever greatly affected your peace of mind? Read 5 Ways to Stay Sane Among Toxic People
I have two little girls counting on me to channel my best, no matter what life throws at me. I needed to ask for the embrace, go on the walk and take the time to heal, so that I can show up for them, fully present, as they deserve.
6. Choose Your Focus
Once I had calmed down and no longer felt like that woman’s words held me in their grasp, the words from the wise old man took center stage. And they still do today.
Every time I feel overwhelmed, spread too thin or run down as a mother (which is often!), I remind myself that these are the absolute best years of my life, just as his kind words promised.