“If a relationship is to evolve it must go through a series of endings.” – Lisa Moriyama
Let Him Come To You
Don’t keep checking on how he’s doing. He may rejoin you when he’s ready as long as you can maintain emotional detachment about the whole situation and not force him to come closer or have deep discussions about the relationship.
Space in relationships is a little like stretching a rubber band. He will eventually snap back and come close again as long as you don’t release the tension by chasing him. Just do your thing and remember: He is not a pot that you are bringing to a boil.
He must decide on his own to come out of his hole. The more you push for his attention, the more he’ll resist your pressure, and the worse you will both feel about each other and your relationship.
How Long Should You Give A Man Space?
If your guy has asked for space either by distancing himself or telling you explicitly he needs space to think about things, you should give him as long as he needs.
Generally, the more intense things have been between the two of you, the more of a breather he might need.
When He Needs Space After Breaking Up
“In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” – Anthony Robbins
Up until this point I’ve been talking about how to give a man space when you’re either dating or in a relationship with him.
That was about good, healthy space and letting your man recharge. If you’re still together, give him that good space whenever he wants it.
If he has broken up with you and given you the “I need space” line as part of the breakup speech, I have some real talk for you.
He could have told you that he wants space.
He could have told you that he wants to date Jennifer the bartender.
He could have said that he’s feeling conflicted right now and can’t get his shit together.
Hear me now: The fact that he told you he wants space does not matter.
Do not tell yourself that giving him space now means that there is hope for your relationship in the future.
I don’t want to break your heart, but when a man says he wants space during a breakup, that’s a gentle way of telling you he wants “forever space” to live without you.
You must leave him alone. Go no contact with him. Leave him in the dust to miss you. Don’t wait around, hoping that the situation will change or that he’ll forget that he dumped you after he “finds himself.”
Consider the relationship over and move on.
In the future, reflect on whether or not you might have been a tad clingy and don’t do that with the next guy. Lick your wounds, tie up your unfinished business and leave him alone.
Have you been asking yourself what you did that made him create distance? Weirdly, men are just as emotional as women. I know it sounds strange but it’s true.
The problem is that men aren’t as emotional as often.
When they experience feelings that they don’t understand, they tend to pull away from a woman while they sort it out for themselves.
Written by Elizabeth Stone Originally appeared in Attract The One