It could be something along the lines of “She made me feel appreciated/proud/good about myself.”
Related: 5 Things To Remember After A Breakup
Whatever that thing is one of the reasons that you’re suffering this long after your break up is because whatever she did for you is still a large void in your life.
You may be emotionally and psychologically addicted to your ex because they were your only source of a certain emotion, thought, or feeling that you only got from them.
Some examples of this would be…
– You have low self-esteem and she made you see yourself through her much more positive perspective
– You are reluctant to give yourself any praise for a job well done and she would lavish you with praise and congratulations
– You feel directionless in life and your relationship with her gave you a project to work on
– You aren’t good at keeping yourself accountable or on track with your goals and she helped you tremendously in this area of your life
Whatever your ex gave you, you are likely still suffering because you barely give yourself any of the emotional benefits that she gave you tons of.
So the action step part of this section is to start giving yourself the thing that she used to give you.
Like a bird who lands on a tree branch only to have it break out from underneath its feet, you still have wings. You can make yourself soar without her.
Is Getting Over Your Ex Truly Possible?
Do I still do mental gymnastics sometimes and begin convincing myself that I’m still not over her? Yes, I do. As do a handful of my clients that are engaged to other women. But our brains are experts at convincing ourselves (logically) that we want things that aren’t good for us (because we want them emotionally).
When I slow down for longer than a minute and think about why we broke up (several times) it was because we weren’t right for each other. She is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. If it was meant to be then it would have been easier and you both would have fought to keep it going. But now it’s in the past and all that’s left to do is to let go of it.
They came into your life to teach you a lesson about yourself, and now it’s time to gracefully let go of that person.
You are better off for having known them, and you both bumped into each other on your life’s journey so that you can better prepare each other for your next respective relationships.
Dedicated to your success,
Ps. Want to use the pain of your breakup to your advantage? Check out How To Harness And Heal The Pain Of A Breakup.
Pps. Still hurting? Reach out and let’s talk 1-on-1.