6. Don’t Obsess Over Your Relationship, Enjoy It!
People with high self-esteem believe they are worthy of love and don’t question how someone feels about them. They know that they are good, competent, and lovable and trust that the right person for them will see that for themselves.
They don’t attach their worth to what a guy thinks and, as a result, don’t feel stressed and anxious when a guy’s feelings are unclear. Instead, they assume he likes them and are able to be present in the relationship and enjoy it without being weighed down by fears and doubts.
They also don’t obsess over every interaction looking for meaning or clues and see this as a total waste of time.
7. Don’t Show Off Or Talk Yourself Up
Don’t tell someone who you are, show them.
This is something I talk about a lot. Talking endlessly about your attributes and accomplishments is just a turn-off. This doesn’t come across as confidence, it’s arrogant and makes you look like you have something to prove.
People of high value don’t need to tell you how valuable they are.
A woman who reveals herself gradually, carefully peeling back the layers over time, is significantly more attractive than a woman who lays it all out there.
I know you think that you need to tell him how smart/funny/accomplished/interesting/etc. you are right away, because how else will he know if you don’t tell him … but hold back. Trust that you are all of these things and let him discover you slowly rather than shoving yourself right in his face.
8. Don’t Rely On His Reassurance For Your Self-Esteem
People with high self-esteem know they are loved and lovable. They don’t need a guy to remind them every day. It’s just something they feel and know.
When you are insecure, you often need constant validation and become resentful if your partner doesn’t give it to you. You blame him for “making you” feel insecure in the relationship, or unloved, unattractive, etc. but in reality, that’s not his job.
Of course, we want those words of affirmation from our partners, but you can’t rely on him 100% of the time to give you those things. The foundation needs to be laid in place by you, otherwise, you will just be an empty vessel that can’t receive what he has to give.
The fact is, if you don’t feel good about yourself, nothing he does will ever be enough. If you don’t believe you are worthy of love, you will never truly believe someone else can love you.
9. Put Yourself First
Until you are in a serious committed relationship, put yourself first. Do not bend over backward trying to win a man over by putting him and his needs first.
Later in a relationship, you may need to put his needs above or equal to yours as a situation calls for but now is not that time – not at the beginning of a relationship.
Far too many women do this at the beginning stages of a relationship and then wonder why they’re not getting treated like the high-value woman they thought they were being.
Treating him like a King that you are here to serve is not what gets a guy to fall madly in love with you, it just makes you look desperate and pathetic. Guys fall in love with women they have to work for and who they invest in. They fall in love with women they have to earn, not women who serve themselves up to him on a silver platter.