How Empaths Are Trapped in Relationship with Sociopaths

Empaths Trapped Relationship with Sociopaths

How the tables turn

Sadly, sociopath relationships are nothing but manufactured illusions. What empaths fail to realize is that insecurity was never the real issue for the sociopath. “If you’re the female partner of a man who tends toward the insensitivity or callous end of the psychopathic spectrum, be prepared for rough times ahead. His inability to empathize with you may only make you retreat further into yourself,” explains Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., an author and Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. 

Sociopaths hook empaths with sympathy. Due to their natural instincts, empaths perceive these psychopaths as innocent souls who need to be built up. The problem with empaths is that whenever they sense insecurities, the first instinct is to cure it with love, care and compassion. Psychopaths, on the other hand, are always ready to abuse insecurities and manipulate it for their own benefit.

Read also: The Empath And The Wounded Narcissist

During the initial phases, sociopath relationships allow the empaths to build their sense of self-worth from making their seemingly miserable partners happy. As they become increasingly hooked, empaths become obsessed with helping sociopaths and filling their lives with happiness. This strengthens the bond between them and builds trust and love. They can go to any and all lengths to make the sociopath feel loved and taken care of and all they receive in return is false overwhelming appreciation.

However, before they can realize, the situation changes at the blink of an eye. And soon the empath finds themselves vying for the sociopath’s attention. The empaths become desperate for their appreciation and approval as it builds their self-esteem. As the sociopath slowly begins to reveal their true selves and show how unimportant the empath is in their lives, the empath begins to feel increasingly insecure, unattractive, stupid, worthless and needy.

This is how the empath becomes addicted to the approval and attention of the lying, deceiving and manipulative sociopath.

Read also: Why Empaths Attract Abusive People And How To Stop It

Recovering from sociopath relationships

How Empaths Are Trapped in Relationship with Sociopaths

Eventually the empath begins to realize the truth. They begin to see all the abuse and the dismissal of their self-worth. As empaths learn to walk away from sociopath relationships, it becomes a battle for them to rebuild their self-esteem. Not only do they have to detach themselves from someone they believed they loved, they also have to come to terms with the truth – that they were cheated and manipulated. They have to accept the fact the romantic encounter was nothing but a lie. However, the greatest challenge for the empath is to rebuild their sense of self-worth from scratch.

However, as the empath begins to recover and heal emotionally, they become stronger than ever before. They begin to realize that their self-esteem depends on themselves and not on the approval of their partners. As the toxicity and negativity begins to disappear, as the broken heart begins to heal, the empath begins to redefine themselves. They begin to realize that only they can create happiness in their lives. They realize that it’s okay to be compassionate and kind, but it’s never okay to sacrifice yourself to lift someone else up. They realize they are not responsible for someone else’s happiness, but only their own.

Read also: How Empaths Can Recover from Trauma And PTSD


How Sociopaths Hook Empathetic People - With False Innocence and Appreciation
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28 thoughts on “How Empaths Are Trapped in Relationship with Sociopaths”

  1. Great article from experience.Also any addiction both or one steps up the cruelty I would love to read on your child being sociopath . I did get 4 tips on how to block the actions but my experience is they become much more angry. And in order to stop them you have to keep a distance and that heart breaking for a parent

  2. Im on my way out right now. Unfortunly we got a child 1.4 y old.. I saw some of this before and made boundories and though it worked but now I know better. I will tell her the only way we can have a chance in the future is If she goes and get a diagnose and do teraphy but Im not sure I be willing to risk it..

  3. I wish these textbook types were discussed in open forum!! Growing up I watched it play out on all levels!! The sad thing is I was ” familiar ” W that type? Just hadn’t quite registered that history was repeating itself.

    1. actually is like this, we really mean and think those things when we say them (thats why they are so real), just it can be that in next day or after a month we will change our mind, nothing is forever live in a moment thats all i can say.

  4. This is a really good read and very interesting, insightful.

    I didn’t fancy my narc when i first met him, he had used old pics of himself (despite only being 30 he was obese and used pictures that didn’t represent this) and after we split he asked me if i found him attractive, i actually told him i didn’t but over time i fell in love with him and thought he was the best looking guy in the world…not sure i should have revealed that to him or why he asked, it doesn’t matter anyway, focusing on understanding and healing myself now. He did used to talk to me as a child sometimes, i found that a little strange but overlooked it because everything else seemed so perfect, now (after gathering much information) i can see all the ways i was manipulated and know i shouldn’t make excuses for, or rationalise, any behaviour that triggers uncomfortable feelings in me.

    I am struggling with the split – despite not even wanting a relationship when i first met him, he called me a lot and texted me a lot, every day almost, plenty of times a day, whenever his girlfriend wouldn’t know really (yeah he ‘forgot’ to tell me he found someone else while we were together and was still with her after i dumped him and he was pretending to get me back, i say pretending because everything about him/our relationship isn’t real) but i feel addicted to him and miss him a lot because he spent over a year love bombing me and manipulating me and all that time it felt good between us. I try really hard to focus on the truth, that he’s not what i have built up in my mind from all the lies and manipulation he did to me, this helps immensely, but still i feel extremely sad, and miss ‘him’. I really miss the fake him so much. He’s not real though and i know he’ll make me unhappy, this is why i dumped him in the first place and never got back with him whenever he asked me to. I lost myself in the process, trying to find me again is hard at times, but i’ll get there…wherever it is i’m going…and articles like this really help me get everything in perspective.

    1. Everything you said I went through the same. But for 10yrs. I’m struggling day by day. I’m taking one day at a time.

  5. ASTOUNDING ….. hard to believe how many people fall for this tripe.

    Soooo convienent that for many of you, this article describes EXACTLY how you dishonestly wish view your ex.

    Because when THEY are the ( INSERT LABEL HERE ) it makes YOU the angel.

    I question this ‘themindsjournal’ its not the first time I’ve seen them peddling divisive labels. I’m sure it wont be the last.

  6. I could have wrote the 1st part as the exact start to my relationship with a narcopath, everything was said to me and I fell for it, but this ‘quiet mistreated nice guy’ turned out to be my worst nightmare, it was all an act for his children, family and friends, looking like he was living a ‘normal’ life when infact he was a predator, and still is.
    Once I saw all the sick pictures of him and what his ‘ring of friends’ had taken and sent him for his collection I was out of there as fast as anything! I can’t tell you all what I felt like knowing I loved a sick monster but boy does life get better once their gone

  7. Now i don’t need to go to Psychologist i guess. It answered all my questions. As if it was narrating my story. Yes i moved on but when i bounced to another it seems another encounter of a psychopath again. Like i ended up asking myself, what is it in me?, what i did wrong?, or im just born not to have a good partner

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