Except, your heart was created for relationship. Your heart was created for intimacy. But intimacy is the enemy, the biggest threat. Intimacy requires your heart to be vulnerable, to let someone close.
To betray its own desires in the hope it will not be betrayed because of them. Intimacy is the most dangerous of all, and your heart turns itself away and chooses to live without hope of a relationship, of closeness, of oneness with another.
Betrayal has changed your heart.
It has damaged your heart.
It has left it powerless, helpless, vulnerable, wounded, damaged, guarded, broken. Your heart can no longer trust, does not trust. It no longer believes in the goodness of anyone else’s heart. It no longer believes it is worthy of being loved, of being protected.
It is tired of living in a constant state of anticipation and expectation that it will be hurt and betrayed once more. It no longer wants to love, no longer knows how to love. It has become numb, deadened to its desires, and you tell yourself you are content with this.
That here, you are safe. You are in control. You are untouchable.
Except, you are lonely. So goddamn lonely.
And this is the paradox of betrayal.
You are scared of relationship, yet relationship is the very thing that will heal your heart.
Dear heart, there is a need for you to be safe.
But there is a greater need for you to be loved.
The only way to heal is through love.
You must find the courage to pull down your fortress. It has kept you safe. But you have dwelled long enough in your solitude. In your loneliness. It is time to lay down your weapons. Surrender is not defeated, but the end of the fight.
To love is to risk hurt. To trust is to risk betrayal. But you must risk so that you may heal.
Your heart has learned how to stay safe, how to survive.
Now, it must learn how to once again love.