As hard as it is to keep ignoring false accusations, it is even worse when you get to hear something (which you told someone in complete confidence) being repeated to you by a mere acquaintance. You see narcissist don’t respect you or your privacy. So any intimate information which you might have shared with them in the past can become public knowledge, the moment they feel like doing so. There can be many reasons behind such behavior on their part. First and foremost is that they want to get under your skin. And exposing you like this might be the surest way for them to incite a reaction out of you. Another reason could be that they are feeling vindictive and this might seem like a just revenge on them. No matter their reason, you will have to maintain your cool. Again, in a just world, you wouldn’t have to bear with all this slandering. But all you can do is keep your head high and prove all these allegations wrong. Reacting to them in any which way will only make the situation worse. They would be painting a picture of you as someone who is evil and mean and whatnot. Remind everyone that you are not so by facing all these accusations with utmost serenity.
3.) In the case that the narcissist abuser is someone very close to you, part of your family, for instance, ignoring them might get a bit more problematic. They’d make other family members believe that you are doing them some wrong.
As can be expected, they’d be great at painting themselves as the martyr whereas you’d be the insensitive person who is not agreeing to their well-meaning actions. And the worst thing is that these people would be fooled by them. And so, instead of even trying to learn your side of the story, they’d start admonishing you on your alleged bad behavior. This could quickly turn into an intervention which would have you facing off your abuser and his/her flying monkeys, meaning well and what not. In such a situation, do not lash out. It will only convince them that whatever your abuser was telling them was true. Again, your best bet is to act rational, logical and calm. Let them finish speaking, cross-question them, point out the obvious flaws in their statement, and walk out of that situation with your head held high.
Losing your life and loved ones to a narcissist can be very hard. But sometimes all you can do is save yourself, so your focus should be on that.
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