11 Manipulative Techniques Narcissists Use To Control You

manipulative narcissists

4. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of their most favorite weapons because they are master manipulators. Gaslighting is a form of verbal and psychological abuse used by narcissists to exercise control, and they do this by making you question your own sanity and reality. They usually use this form of manipulation for self-gain, and sometimes even for sport.

They usually deny they did something that you know for a fact that they said or did. They also use denial, accusations, lying, and mischief to make you feel crazy and guilty. This is done to gain control over the relationship and your emotions.

gaslighting narcissists
11 Manipulative Techniques Narcissists Use To Control You

5. Playing Mind Games

For narcissists, relationships are transactional because the goal is to get what they want but with minimal effort, and they know how to play games. One of the ways narcissists control you is by playing manipulative games. So, one minute they will sweep you off your feet with gifts and romantic dates, and the very next moment, they will flip out on you aggressively. The negative moments are carefully covered with positive ones so that you don’t realize that you are being played. 

The most important thing you can do is to not fall prey to their fake and superficial flattery and be cautious about the toxic mind games they try to play with you.

6. Having Only Two Options For You

Narcissists often give their partners only two options. It’s always an “either-or” or a “yes or no”. They view the world in either or terms and expect their partner to follow in their footsteps. They feel a sense of power from this approach because this lets them manipulate you in every way they can; this is a powerful means of trapping you in their mind games and making you do what they want you to do.

7. Trying To Label You

They love assigning negative phrases or attributes to a person’s characteristics or position. They love to humiliate you with harsh words so they can feel like they have the ultimate power to control you. For instance, they may use harsh words like “you are needy” or “you are a pathetic loser” to make you feel like they are in control of you and your feelings.

Narcissists will impose on you all sorts of horrible labels, to break your heart and spirit. They don’t care in the least how you feel, or how they are making you feel, and this can end up taking a heavy toll on your mental and emotional health.

Related: 8 Tricks Narcissists Play To Manipulate Their Victims

8. Empty Promises

Narcissists try to control you by making empty promises they know they won’t keep. They promise to give you something without any plans or intentions of actually giving it to you. For instance, they might promise you that they will change themselves but their actions will never match their words. They might promise you that they will take you on a trip, but that will never happen.

Fake and empty promises are simply a way for them to be in control, and keep you in control. They know that you trust them a lot, and they take advantage of this trust to lie to you to make sure that you are wrapped around their fingers.

9. Ridiculing You All The Time

The narcissist often uses mockery and humiliation to their advantage. They tend to devalue your intentions and feelings by using dismissive remarks, sarcasm, or deprecating humor towards you. They never take you seriously when you try to talk to them about your feelings, especially the painful ones. Whenever you approach them and try to talk to them about how their actions are hurting you, they end up making fun of you and this makes you feel worse.

The sad truth is that they love making you feel like this, and they love seeing you broken and defeated. Seeing others in pain makes them happy because it makes them feel better about themselves.

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