If we begin to change the way we view other people, then the painful memories will look different when we reexamine them. If our attitude becomes more loving, then we’ll become more forgiving, and be better able to let go of past hurts, anger and resentment.
How to Change Our Attitude with Mindfulness
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” – Nhat Hanh
Mindfulness can help you let go of past hurts & heal yourself:
1. Through mindfulness meditation.
Mindfulness meditation will help you expand your awareness. What this means is that you’ll be able to see situations on a deeper level, and more broadly. For example, if someone in the past hurt you, you can look beyond his actions. You may look at his upbringing to understand why he treated you the way he did.
Usually, people who hurt others are unhappy and get some relief by inflicting pain on others. This is the only way they know how to deal with their pain and anger for the injustices that were done on them. When we can see them as a 5-year old child being abused, then our compassion for them will grow. This will help us forgive them, and free us of our own pain and suffering.
2. Loving-kindness writing meditation.
Through writing meditation, you can reprogram your subconscious mind with more positive attitudes. The way it works is simple. You simply copy the meditation by hand for about 5-10 minutes a day. This will imprint the affirmations of the meditation into your subconscious mind, and then they’ll manifest themselves in your actions without any conscious effort.
You can learn more about loving-kindness writing meditation here.
3. The mindfulness practice itself.
There is more to the mindfulness practice than just meditation. It also involves connecting with other people, deep listening, mindful speech, getting involved in a spiritual community, participating in a mindfulness retreat, and more. All these practices will help make you more resilient to the hurtful words and actions of other people.
Let the Memories Arise
“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.” – Eckhart Tolle
I know that it can be scary to think about painful events from your past, but mindfulness is a powerful practice that can help you develop greater understanding and compassion. Those painful memories will look much different when you look at them with a mindful eye.
Mindfulness will also help you develop the inner strength necessary to transform those painful memories, so they never cause you pain and suffering again. This will lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
When you finally let go of your past hurts, you’ll find a freedom that you never thought possible. Then you’ll know the true meaning of inner peace and happiness.
“In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” – Deepak Chopra
When you find yourself trapped in painful memories from the past, instead of getting engaged in those memories, ask yourself how you can heal yourself in the present. Practicing mindfulness will help you shift your focus from clinging on to the past and let go of past hurts easily, understanding what lessons you have learned from your past experiences and how you’ve grown.
The purpose of practicing mindfulness is not to make letting go an easy process but to simply make the process possible.
Here’s an interesting video on the power of mindfulness and how it can help let go of your past hurts and heal:
Mindfulness Meditation Made Simple: Your Guide to Finding True Inner Peace (Paperback)
Quick Start to Mindfulness Meditation (cd)
Inner Silence: Guided Relaxation Meditations for Inner Peace and Restful Sleep (cd)
Mindfulness for Busy People (online course)